Two years ago when I woke up I had no idea that this would be the date that would forever change my life! My day was planned in my mind-teaching, doing some grading while I waited for Taryn to finish her cross country practice and then home to fix dinner and walk Sukie. But God interrupted my life with a phone call which officially brought the stormy sea of cancer into my life. In one instant my calm seas exploded into the most violent storm I had ever been in. I found myself desperately trying to anchor myself to something that would keep me alive. I found it in God's word and His love for me. The devotional I have camped in is Streams in the Desert by L.B. Cowman. This is one of the first verses I read, "Others went out to sea in ships; they were merchants on the mighty waters. They saw the works of the Lord, his wonderful deeds in the deep. (Psalm 107:23-26)
Cowman goes on to say, "The person who has not learned that every wind that blows can be used to guide us toward heaven has certainly not mastered the art of sailing and is nothing but an apprentice. In fact, the only thing that helps no one is a dead calm. Every wind, whether from the north, south, east, or west, may help us toward that blessed port. So seek only this:to stay well out to sea-and then have no fear of stormy winds."
Today I am grateful for the love and comfort my heavenly Father has poured into my life these past two years. I am so excited to be enjoying excellent health! For those of you who have prayed for me, juiced carrots for me, sent encouraging notes and verses, cried with me and walked with me on this difficult road-I LOVE AND APPRECIATE YOU! Please don't stop praying! Eating a plant based diet is a very lonely road most of the time. Pray God will give me the time and energy to plan menu's and learn to cook new things and the stamina to stay diligent with all of it. There are days I just want to grab a quart of ice cream and sit in front of the T.V. and eat sugar until I'm sick! So far I haven't done that but it's probably only because there are people who are praying, not because I have great self discipline! I am looking forward to seeing how God is going to bring himself glory through my life this next year. Stay tuned to be part of it!
Saturday, August 29, 2009
Friday, August 14, 2009
Gifts from Above
So much has happened since I last wrote! But before I get to that I want to share something from my Streams in the Desert book by L.B. Cowman. Today's devotion came from John 19:11 where Jesus says to Pilate, "You would have no power over me if it were not given to you from above." Cowman goes on to say,"Nothing that is not part of God's will is allowed to come into the life of someone who trusts and obeys Him. This truth should be enough to make our life one of ceaseless thanksgiving and joy, because God's will is the most hopeful, pleasant, and glorious thing in the world. It is the continuous working of His omnipotent power for our benefit, with nothing to prevent it, if we remain surrendered and believing. We live fascinating lives if we are living in the center of God's will. All the attacks that Satan hurls at us through the sins of others are not only powerless to harm us but are transformed into blessings along the way."
Today I begin my new job! 9 days ago I interviewed for an administrative postion with Foothills High School which is the school run by the church I attend. This summer I took classes and then passed a national test which credentials me as an administrator! I was offered the Assistant Principal position at Foothills. The students are on campus 3 days a week and then homeschool the other two. I will work 4 days a week. God did some amazing things in order for me to get this job! I asked my former superintendent if he would allow me to have my tuition benefits for Taryn (she would be free this year) even if I left. He said YES! I still had a $300 registration fee to pay. When I went to pick up my final check they said they owed me $301.68 for this years contract since I did not give notice until this past Monday! God is so good. One of the greatest joys in all of this is that the other P.E. teacher I was sharing a contract with for this year will get her full time contract back. I was so happy because she and I have worked together for the past 5 years. Last year her 13 year old daughter was diagnosed with a brain tumor. Brittany was one of my students in Bible and I dearly love her. She has had 2 surgeries and is facing more treatment. Please pray for God's complete healing for her.
I saw my oncologist yesterday and she believes the area they saw in the sonogram that wasn't there before is probably from the hematoma dissolving! They want to do another sonogram in 6 months to look at it again. Pray it will continue to shrink! This is the first time in 2 years that I feel like all of this may finally be behind me! A great weight is lifting from my shoulders. Now I just need to make some vegan menus and get some variety in my daily diet. Cooking is not one of my favorite things to do!
I am rejoicing in what God has done in my life these last 2 years. I have truly watched the continuous working of His omnipotent power for my benefit as I have remained surrendered and believing! Now that I am not teaching, one of my goals is to put my web site together in order to help more people who are looking for a natural route to fighting cancer. In addition to that I want to continue to read and become more educated in this area. It seems as if cancer is everywhere! I know God is going to use my experience to help others. I know the faith journey I have been on is not just for my benefit. I am humbled and excited to see what God is going to do in and through me.
I will leave you with this thought from L.B. Cowman, "Isn't it glorious to know that no matter how unjust something may be, even when it seems to have come from Satan himself, by the time it reaches us it is God's will for us and will ultimately work to our good?"
Today I begin my new job! 9 days ago I interviewed for an administrative postion with Foothills High School which is the school run by the church I attend. This summer I took classes and then passed a national test which credentials me as an administrator! I was offered the Assistant Principal position at Foothills. The students are on campus 3 days a week and then homeschool the other two. I will work 4 days a week. God did some amazing things in order for me to get this job! I asked my former superintendent if he would allow me to have my tuition benefits for Taryn (she would be free this year) even if I left. He said YES! I still had a $300 registration fee to pay. When I went to pick up my final check they said they owed me $301.68 for this years contract since I did not give notice until this past Monday! God is so good. One of the greatest joys in all of this is that the other P.E. teacher I was sharing a contract with for this year will get her full time contract back. I was so happy because she and I have worked together for the past 5 years. Last year her 13 year old daughter was diagnosed with a brain tumor. Brittany was one of my students in Bible and I dearly love her. She has had 2 surgeries and is facing more treatment. Please pray for God's complete healing for her.
I saw my oncologist yesterday and she believes the area they saw in the sonogram that wasn't there before is probably from the hematoma dissolving! They want to do another sonogram in 6 months to look at it again. Pray it will continue to shrink! This is the first time in 2 years that I feel like all of this may finally be behind me! A great weight is lifting from my shoulders. Now I just need to make some vegan menus and get some variety in my daily diet. Cooking is not one of my favorite things to do!
I am rejoicing in what God has done in my life these last 2 years. I have truly watched the continuous working of His omnipotent power for my benefit as I have remained surrendered and believing! Now that I am not teaching, one of my goals is to put my web site together in order to help more people who are looking for a natural route to fighting cancer. In addition to that I want to continue to read and become more educated in this area. It seems as if cancer is everywhere! I know God is going to use my experience to help others. I know the faith journey I have been on is not just for my benefit. I am humbled and excited to see what God is going to do in and through me.
I will leave you with this thought from L.B. Cowman, "Isn't it glorious to know that no matter how unjust something may be, even when it seems to have come from Satan himself, by the time it reaches us it is God's will for us and will ultimately work to our good?"
Saturday, August 1, 2009
Peace in Pain
I am reading Max Lucado's book titled For These Tough Times. He says,
"I am more a landlubber than a sailor, but I've puttered around in a bass boat enough to know the secret for finding land in a storm...You don't aim at
another boat. You certainly don't stare at the waves. You set your sights on a object unaffected by the wind-a light on the shore-and go straight toward it. The light is unaffected by the storm.
By seeking God, you do the same. When you set your sights on our God, you focus on the One who can overcome any storm life may bring.
Like Job, you find peace in the pain.
Like Job, you cover your mouth and sit still.
"Be still, and know that I am God: (Psalm 46:10)This verse contains a command with a promise.
The command? Be still. Cover your mouth. Bend your knees.
The promise? You will know that I am God. The vessel of faith journeys on soft waters. Belief rides on the wings of waiting.
In the midst of your daily storms, and in this storm that has swept over our country and even the entire world, make it a point to be still and set your sights on him. Let God be God. Let him bathe you in his glory so that both your breath and your troubles are sucked from your soul. Be still. Be quiet. Be open and willing. Take a moment to be still, and know that he is God."
Yesterday I watched the memorial service for Caleb Koke. Caleb was a young man who was on my team that went to El Salvador 2 summers ago. He fell asleep behind the wheel, drove into a tree and was ushered into the presence of our Lord. It was a very moving service but I was most affected by what his mother Laura said. She talked about the deep peace that she had and the joy of knowing that her son was with Jesus. She expressed her thanks to the thousands of people who had poured out their love to their family. Then she said something that was truly amazing. She said that it hurt her to watch people hurting over the death of Caleb! This is a mother who has chosen to set her sights on God, and to focus on the one who can overcome any storm life may bring.
In his book Lucado talks about the role that Satan plays in our pain. He says, "Perhaps the clearest illustration of how God uses Satan to achieve his purposes is found in the life of Peter. Listen to the warning Jesus gives to him: "Simon, Simon, Satan has asked to test all of you as a farmer sifts his wheat. I have prayed that you will not lose your faith! Help your brothers be stronger when you come back to me." (Luke 22:31-32)
Again, notice who is in control. Even though Satan had a plan, he had to get permission. "All authority in heaven and on earth has been given to me" Jesus explained, and this is proof. (Matthew 28:18) The wolf cannot get to the sheep without the permission of the Shepherd, and the Shepherd will only permit the attack if, in the long term, the pain is worth the gain.
The purpose of this test is to provide a testimony for the church. Jesus was allowing Peter to experience a trial so he could encourage his brothers. Perhaps God is doing the same with you. God knows that the church needs living testimonies of his power. Your difficulty, your disease, your conflict are preparing you to be a voice of encouragement to your brothers."
In the midst of her deep pain, I watched Laura Koke encourage the congregation she and her husband pastor and the friends and family that were present at Caleb's memorial service.
God will use each of us to be a voice to bring Him glory if we look to Him during our trials of pain. I know He has allowed me more opportunities to minister than I have ever had before I got cancer. Cancer has become my megaphone to shout his love to those who are suffering. When you have weathered the storms of life with your faith intact, you will forever be a changed person. Don't waste your sorrows. Look for the good in your pain that gives God glory. Trust that He has not forsaken you and never will.
Please pray for the Koke family as they grieve the home going of their sweet son Caleb. Also continue to pray for the Riley family who will be burying their 25 year old son David on Sunday. Both families are pastoring churches. Both sons fell asleep at the wheel. Both families are desperately clinging to God.
I would also appreciate your prayers. On Tuesday I have my mammogram and sonogram in order to get another clean bill of health. Last time they found something they wanted to biopsy. I went through with the biopsy but I will NEVER do that again. It was painful and traumatic. It turned out to be nothing. I had been given the choice to just watch it but I chose the biopsy. August 29th will be my 2 year milestone of being diagnosed with cancer. I am going to celebrate by hang gliding at Torrey Pines! This summer I was also able to compete in the Masters National Championship Track and Field meet in Oshkosh Wisconsin. This was a milestone for me because I had my surgery on my right side, and the removal of so many of my lymph nodes has opened me up to getting lymphedema at any time in my life. I am not supposed to do heavy lifting on that side but God has healed me, so I lift and throw! My mother had always encouraged me to get back into throwing but I was so busy coaching I never did. She and I made some great memories when we threw together back in 1989. When she died last year, I went to New Mexico and got all her implements and decided to train again! It was my way of finding the good in the pain of my loss. I trained with my sister Sani (who was also a thrower and High School coach) for 6 days before we went to Wisconsin. I got my best throws of the year and ended up placing 3rd in discus, 2nd in shot and 1st in the javelin! It was the highlight of my year! I think Sani and I made my mom smile! Thank you dad for paying our way. You are my favorite father and I am going to keep you! Thanks Sewell for holding down the fort and parenting the girls while I was away. If I get that much yard work done while I am gone, I am planning my next trip now! I love you! Thanks for being by my side as we faced the storm together.
"I am more a landlubber than a sailor, but I've puttered around in a bass boat enough to know the secret for finding land in a storm...You don't aim at
another boat. You certainly don't stare at the waves. You set your sights on a object unaffected by the wind-a light on the shore-and go straight toward it. The light is unaffected by the storm.
By seeking God, you do the same. When you set your sights on our God, you focus on the One who can overcome any storm life may bring.
Like Job, you find peace in the pain.
Like Job, you cover your mouth and sit still.
"Be still, and know that I am God: (Psalm 46:10)This verse contains a command with a promise.
The command? Be still. Cover your mouth. Bend your knees.
The promise? You will know that I am God. The vessel of faith journeys on soft waters. Belief rides on the wings of waiting.
In the midst of your daily storms, and in this storm that has swept over our country and even the entire world, make it a point to be still and set your sights on him. Let God be God. Let him bathe you in his glory so that both your breath and your troubles are sucked from your soul. Be still. Be quiet. Be open and willing. Take a moment to be still, and know that he is God."
Yesterday I watched the memorial service for Caleb Koke. Caleb was a young man who was on my team that went to El Salvador 2 summers ago. He fell asleep behind the wheel, drove into a tree and was ushered into the presence of our Lord. It was a very moving service but I was most affected by what his mother Laura said. She talked about the deep peace that she had and the joy of knowing that her son was with Jesus. She expressed her thanks to the thousands of people who had poured out their love to their family. Then she said something that was truly amazing. She said that it hurt her to watch people hurting over the death of Caleb! This is a mother who has chosen to set her sights on God, and to focus on the one who can overcome any storm life may bring.
In his book Lucado talks about the role that Satan plays in our pain. He says, "Perhaps the clearest illustration of how God uses Satan to achieve his purposes is found in the life of Peter. Listen to the warning Jesus gives to him: "Simon, Simon, Satan has asked to test all of you as a farmer sifts his wheat. I have prayed that you will not lose your faith! Help your brothers be stronger when you come back to me." (Luke 22:31-32)
Again, notice who is in control. Even though Satan had a plan, he had to get permission. "All authority in heaven and on earth has been given to me" Jesus explained, and this is proof. (Matthew 28:18) The wolf cannot get to the sheep without the permission of the Shepherd, and the Shepherd will only permit the attack if, in the long term, the pain is worth the gain.
The purpose of this test is to provide a testimony for the church. Jesus was allowing Peter to experience a trial so he could encourage his brothers. Perhaps God is doing the same with you. God knows that the church needs living testimonies of his power. Your difficulty, your disease, your conflict are preparing you to be a voice of encouragement to your brothers."
In the midst of her deep pain, I watched Laura Koke encourage the congregation she and her husband pastor and the friends and family that were present at Caleb's memorial service.
God will use each of us to be a voice to bring Him glory if we look to Him during our trials of pain. I know He has allowed me more opportunities to minister than I have ever had before I got cancer. Cancer has become my megaphone to shout his love to those who are suffering. When you have weathered the storms of life with your faith intact, you will forever be a changed person. Don't waste your sorrows. Look for the good in your pain that gives God glory. Trust that He has not forsaken you and never will.
Please pray for the Koke family as they grieve the home going of their sweet son Caleb. Also continue to pray for the Riley family who will be burying their 25 year old son David on Sunday. Both families are pastoring churches. Both sons fell asleep at the wheel. Both families are desperately clinging to God.
I would also appreciate your prayers. On Tuesday I have my mammogram and sonogram in order to get another clean bill of health. Last time they found something they wanted to biopsy. I went through with the biopsy but I will NEVER do that again. It was painful and traumatic. It turned out to be nothing. I had been given the choice to just watch it but I chose the biopsy. August 29th will be my 2 year milestone of being diagnosed with cancer. I am going to celebrate by hang gliding at Torrey Pines! This summer I was also able to compete in the Masters National Championship Track and Field meet in Oshkosh Wisconsin. This was a milestone for me because I had my surgery on my right side, and the removal of so many of my lymph nodes has opened me up to getting lymphedema at any time in my life. I am not supposed to do heavy lifting on that side but God has healed me, so I lift and throw! My mother had always encouraged me to get back into throwing but I was so busy coaching I never did. She and I made some great memories when we threw together back in 1989. When she died last year, I went to New Mexico and got all her implements and decided to train again! It was my way of finding the good in the pain of my loss. I trained with my sister Sani (who was also a thrower and High School coach) for 6 days before we went to Wisconsin. I got my best throws of the year and ended up placing 3rd in discus, 2nd in shot and 1st in the javelin! It was the highlight of my year! I think Sani and I made my mom smile! Thank you dad for paying our way. You are my favorite father and I am going to keep you! Thanks Sewell for holding down the fort and parenting the girls while I was away. If I get that much yard work done while I am gone, I am planning my next trip now! I love you! Thanks for being by my side as we faced the storm together.
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