Nothing is impossible with God

"For nothing is impossible with God." These words were spoken by an angel to Mary concerning her cousin Elizabeth's pregnancy. The angel was telling Mary she would bear Jesus as a virgin. Elizabeth was used as an example of God doing the impossible in order to give Mary faith to believe and not doubt. The very next verse after this one is Mary's response. She says, "I am the Lord's servant..."

I think most of us don't live believing we serve a God of the impossible. Our daily worries and concerns demonstrate our fear and lack of faith. We look at our circumstances and listen to what the world whispers in our ear about them. This morning in my quiet time I read these words, "...even if we took our circumstances and cast all the darkness of human doubt upon them and then hastily piled as many difficulties together as we could find against God's divine work, we could never move beyond the blessedness of His miracle-working power. May we place our faith completely in Him, for He is the God of the impossible."

For the first time in my life I have really had to place my faith completely in God as I have faced cancer. Doctors are telling me what I am doing is impossible. They don't believe taking the nutritional route will heal cancer. Their prediction of death over my life is enough to cause me to be tempted to run off the path I believe and am trusting God has called me to. Daily I remind myself that my Father is a God of the impossible. My faith is stretched and strengthened with every supplement I take and every glass of carrot juice I drink. He is a God of the impossible and He loves to show His miracle working power through us.

No matter what circumstance you find yourself in today, remember He is a God of the impossible. He will give you the strength to forgive. He will give you the courage to apologize. He will give you the ability to face your day with joy and thanksgiving. You are so blessed no matter what is happening in your life because you have a giant slayer on your side! Nothing is impossible with Him. If you truly believe this you will face each day with joyful anticipation of what God is going to do in and through you. By your attitudes and actions choose to be a miracle in the making!

Thanks Giving

Since I last wrote we had my father-in-laws service, I ate a turkeyless Thanksgiving and we watched Taryn run at state. All first time experiences for me. Sewell did a beautiful job at giving the eulogy for his father. I know his dad would have been proud. It was a perfect day and we had a view of the ocean from where we sat during the service. I know that would have pleased dad since he spent so much of his life on the water. It was a sweet time of remembering a man who poured his life into ours.
Thanksgiving came and in spite of not eating turkey and all the trimmings I have so much to be thankful for. As I look back at these past few months I have been surrounded by friends and family that have loved me and supported me. Without them I don't know what I would have done. I am especially thankful for my youngest sister Sani who flew out from New Mexico to help me during this time. For the past 3 months I haven't gotten anything done on my to do list and she helped relieve my stress by doing a good majority of them. Thank you Sani and to all of you who have prayed for me, sent cards, fixed meals, juiced carrots, gave me gifts, bought books for me, worked in my yard and loved on my family during this very difficult journey. I am rich because of you!
The day after Thanksgiving we drove to Fresno to watch Taryn run in the state meet. There were 198 girls in her division and she placed 97th. We were very proud of her. It was by far the fastest race she has been in this year and she ran a tough race.
Yesterday I received an email from someone I don't know but who is a friend of a friend. She had battled breast cancer 10 years ago and was healed going a nutritional route. She outlined what she did and then she said something she went on a "just say no program". Meaning she stopped going and going. She stayed home at night and allowed her body to rest and heal. She removed every stress she had the power to remove. She went on to say stress is a killer.
As I thought about that I realized how much stress we all allow and have in our lives. Over and over I read how stress is so damaging to the immune system which is our greatest source of protection from disease and illness. I hope you will embark on a "just say no program" and begin to eliminate the stress you can from your life. It isn't healthy for any of us. Since reading her email I gave back a responsibility I had taken on at school. I am going to ask God to show me any further stresses I could get rid of. I am no longer doing things out of a sense of obligation. Time is precious for all of us and we need to learn to invest our time, not just spend it. If this is difficult for you to do ask people that love you to help determine what things you could get rid of in your life. An outside perspective is always helpful. I know Joni and Sani have helped me in this area this year. I pray you will not wait until you are sick or diagnosed with a serious illness before you slow down. Learn from those who have gone before you. You can say No! He will give you the courage. There are always others that can do what you are doing, even if you don't think there are. Pray more, stress less!

Celebrations In The Midst Of Storms

Even in the midst of storms God will bring us moments of celebration. Yesterday was one of them. Taryn ran in the CIF Cross Country championships and placed 8th overall out of about 100 girls which qualified her for the state meet next weekend in Fresno! Our entire family plus 2 aunts were there to cheer her on. The last meet she had was the League Championships which qualified her for CIF. We celebrated by visiting Dad and sharing our joy with him. He died the next morning. I know he would be very proud of Taryn and happy for her. She has worked so hard all summer and fall to get where she is.
Right after the meet we went and celebrated Ashley's 21st birthday which is tomorrow. There was much healing laugther as we sat around the table enjoying one anther's company.
These are a few quotes from my devotional this morning that encouraged me. "God knows that you can withstand your trial, or else he would not have given it to you. His trust in you explains the trials of your life, no mater how severe they may be. God knows your strength, and He measure it to the last inch. Remember, no trial has ever been given to anyone that was greater than that person's strength, THROUGH GOD, to endure it. Rise up today to face the circumstances in which the providence of God has placed you. Your crown of glory is hidden in the heart of these things-the hardships and trials pressing in on you this very hour, week, and month of your life. Yet the most difficult things are not those seen and known by the world but those deep within your soul, unseen and unknown by anyone except Jesus. But I must believe that when difficulties remain, it is that I may learn to trust Him completely-to trust and not be afraid. And it is through my mental and emotional struggles that I am being trained to tutor others who are being tossed by the storm."
Today remember that God trusts you and He wants you to trust Him completely. Through God, and God only you can endure anything. The providence of God places every trial into your life. You are being trained to tutor others who are being tossed by the storm. And while you are in the storm look for moments to celebrate the goodness of God. Don't wait for the seas to be calm and your feet to be standing on solid ground before you give thanks to God. Maybe your praise is the very thing that will calm the winds that are beating against your life.

He instructs me in the night season

One of the most daunting tasks these past few months has been to decide what course of treatment I should take. As I explored all the options I felt strongly that God was not leading me to do chemotherapy or radiation. Taking a nutritional approach has been a step of faith. The majority of people diagnosed with cancer probably don't take this route because it is not one the doctors are familiar with or educated in. My doctors have been skeptical and one has even told me I will die if I don't do chemo or radiation. These are words that can strike fear in anyone's heart. And yet I have to trust what God is speaking to me more than what man is.

Psalm 16:7 says,
"I will bless the Lord who has given me counsel,
My heart also instructs me in the night seasons.
I have set the Lord always before me;
Because He is at my right hand I shall not be moved.
Therefore my heart is glad, and my glory rejoices,
My flesh also will rest in hope."

I thank God every day that He is directing me to doctors who are helping me nutritionally. He has used people to recommend books and web sites that support what I am doing. Daily I come before God in quietness so he can instruct my heart in this night season. I have not seen my oncologist since before surgery and she does not know I am going to refuse chemo and radiation. She has already told me there isn't anything nutritionally that will help me. Because God is at my right hand, I will not be moved emotionally by my discussion with her. I will rest in hope, trusting God. I have always said I have faith in God but now He has called me to step out in faith and trust my life(literally) to Him.

Have you come to that place where you have let everything go? Is all of your life placed into His hands? Do you wait in silence to hear Him speak to you? Are you certain of the path He is directing you to and are you obediently walking on it?

More than being healed of cancer I want to be obedient to my Father and to honor Him in every decision I make. When I am healed of cancer it will not be because I drank 6 glasses of carrot juice a day, or ate a vegan diet or took 84 supplements a day, or slept better or exercised more. It will be because I was obedient to listen and follow my Father and it brought Him glory to heal me. On that day we will throw a great party! Carrot juice for everyone! :)

God is our Refuge and Strength

On Tuesday night we went to visit Bud (my father-in-law) in the care facility. He was hospitalized in the beginning of September to repair a hematoma that occurred when the doctors replaced the battery on his pace maker. His lung collapsed and they eventually put in a trach so they could help him breathe. He got well enough to be transferred to a rehab facility.
We had just come from Taryn's league final cross country race and she was able to tell dad that she had finished 4th which placed her on the All-League team and qualified her for CIF. Cori and Taryn told him about being voted for homecoming court and the lyp synchs they were in following the football game. We held his hands and prayed for him.
The next morning his heart stopped and he went home to be with the Lord. As you can imagine it was devastating for all of us since they said he was getting better. We were expecting him to come home in a few weeks.
Dad was a sweet man who never complained about anything. He was patient and kind. He always treated me like a daughter and not a daughter-in-law. He was a wonderful grandfather to our girls. We all have great memories of him and we will miss him terribly.
It seems like the weight of cancer and the loss of dad is unbearable. I find comfort in Psalm 46.
"God is our refuge and strength, A very present help in trouble.
Therefore we will not fear, though the earth be removed, and though the mountains be carried into the midst of the sea; though its waters roar and be troubled, though the mountains shake with its swelling.
The Lord of hosts is with us, The God of Jacob is our refuge.
Be still and know that I am God."
These past couple of months have found Sewell and I in the midst of a ferocious storm. It has pounded against our hearts and spirits.
David Jeremiah says in his book A Bend In The Road, " Perhaps the storm is raging for you as you read these words. Perhaps you're lost in a wilderness of shattered hope, or shut away in a prison of debt. Perhaps you face a hospital ward of health concerns, or family problems are rocking your boat and you feel you'll be lost forever.
Wherever you are, whatever the crisis, there is an important principle at work. If you feel helpless, you've become eligible for the assistance of God. You need only cry out for His salvation, He will do the rest in His time, and He'll do it well.
When the storm is over, you'll be a new creature-wiser, stronger, and ready to serve Him. The sea will be calm, the breeze will be soft, and the silence will present itself as a sanctuary to exalt His name and sing His glorious praises. If He can control the storm, what other wonderful works might He bring to pass in your life? Run into His waiting arms, for that's what He most desires. He is your refuge, your city wall, your cool and refreshing stream, and your impenetrable defense from the enemy. He is a very present help in times of trouble."
The only way I am able to put my feet on the floor and face my day is by facing God first. I am trusting God to bring me through this storm and into calm seas. But I won't wait for that moment to praise Him. He loves me and will keep me from sinking no matter how hard the waves pound against my boat. I know this because He's in the boat with me. I am keeping my eyes focused on His face and not the storm. I am thanking Him for His undeniable presence. I don't know how long this storm will rage but it doesn't really matter. I know the longer I am in it, the deeper the work He is doing in my life. I long for the gentle breeze and the calm seas that signal the end of this storm but I will continue to trust Him no matter how long or how hard it beats against my life.
And knowing that my heavenly Father and Bud are together now cheering me on gives me strength and hope to finish this race and finish it strong.

Running with endurance

"Let us run with endurance the race that is set before us, looking unto Jesus, the author and finisher of our faith." Hebrews 12:1-2

My goal is to someday run again. It is something I miss terribly. There's just something about the feeling of a good sweat that comes from a hard workout. O.K., maybe I'm a little crazy! I feel like I'm running a race right now even though my Adidas haven't taken one step. It's the race for health. I'm finding it's taking daily discipline and endurance. This morning I was reading a book my brother sent me by Max Lucado called Mocha With Max. This is his perspective.

"For some of you, the journey has been long. Very long and stormy. Some of you have shouldered burdens that few of us could ever carry. You have bid farewell to life-long partners. You have been robbed of life-long dreams. You have been given bodies that can't sustain your spirit. You have spouses who can't tolerate your faith. You have bills that outnumber the paychecks and challenges that outweigh the strength.
And you are tired.
It's hard for you to see the City in the midst of the storms. The desire to pull over to the side of the road and get out entices you. You want to go on, but some days the road seems so long.
Let me encourage you. God never said that the journey would be easy, but he did say that the arrival would be worthwhile.
Remember this: God may not do what you want, but he will do what is right...and best. He's the Father of forward motion. Trust Him. He will get you home. And the trials of the trip will be lost in the joys of the feast."

I am asking for strength just for today. I am choosing to trust God to give me the endurance to keep moving forward one step at a time. I want to find joy in the trials of the trip. Are you doing the same?

Praising God's Presence and Provision

So much has happened these past 10 days. Fires raged in San Diego. Thankfully we did not have to evacuate. I flew to North Carolina for a 3 day nutrition seminar that was very educational and encouraging. My drain finally came out after 3 weeks! The doctor said it drained so long because my lymph nodes are working and I'm healthy! My blood pressure was also the lowest it has ever been- 104/66! This is an indication that my arteries are very elastic and healthy! YEAH!

I also saw 3 other doctors and they all feel like I am doing exactly what I should be doing nutritionally to get my immune system strong to fight this cancer. They took a Carotenoid Antioxidant test to check my improvement. This test measures the overall level of antioxidants in my body which are the things that are going to kill the cancer. My first reading was 39,000 which is about a C+. The test this week was 58,000! They were impressed that it had gone up that much. The highest reading is 59,000!

My next step is to make an appointment with my oncologist to talk to her about how she is going to follow my progress. I had not decided to forego chemo and radiation when I first talked to her so I am preparing my heart in case she tries to convince me otherwise.

Lately I have been reading Psalm 142 and 57 which were written by David while he was hiding in the cave. Psalm 142:3 says, "When my spirit was overwhelmed within me, then you knew my path." I have felt overwhelmed several times on this journey. Trying to figure out the right nutritional path is a daunting task. And yet I find comfort that God knows the path. Every moment I feel overwhelmed by problems, God is
busy dealing with them. God is as present in my "cave experience" as he was in David's. He's also in yours.

Verse 5 says, "You are my refuge, my portion in the land of the living." Caves are not the refuge in the times of trials! God is. He will provide whatever I need during this time.

In verse 7 David says, "Set me free from my prison, that I may praise your name." I was intrigued by this. Do I want to be set free from cancer just so I can be well? Ultimately when God heals me, it will be so I can praise his name and give him glory.

Psalm 57 has two very interesting verses. Right in the middle is verse 5 which says, "Be exalted, O God, above the heavens; let your glory be over all the earth." This psalm ends with verse 11 which repeats verse 5. In the middle of this trial I am to praise God and again at the end of it.

I believe the key to being free from any trial is to learn to praise God right while you are in the midst of it. If you remember when Paul was in prison he began to sing and praise God and his chains fell off and he was set free.

If you find yourself taking refuge in a cave of your making, I encourage you to begin to offer a sacrifice of praise to God. He is always present to provide whatever you need. He is your strong tower and refuge in times of trouble. He will hold you tight even in the midst of the fire.