It has been a little over 3 years since I was diagnosed with cancer. Time has not flown when you are having fun. Facing and fighting cancer is a daily, lifetime process of just plain hard work when you choose a lifestyle change and nutritional route. Each day I still face the giant, even though I have won the battle. You just never know how many friends that giant has, lurking in the dark. Today I am grateful that I am not physically suffering the effects of cancer as so many I know are. When I look around I just don't understand why so many have to suffer. My devotions today said this, "Someday we will understand that God has a reason behind every no He gives us through the course of our lives. When God's people are worried and concerned that their prayers are not being answered, how often we have seen Him working to answer them in a far greater way! Occasionally we catch a glimpse of this, but the complete revelation of it will not be seen until later."
When the frosts are in the valley,
And the mountaintops are gray,
And the choicest blooms are blighted,
And the blossoms die away,
A loving Father whispers,
"This all comes from my hand";
Blessed are you if you trust
When you cannot understand.
If, after years of toiling,
Your wealth should fly away
And leave your hands all empty,
And your hair is turning gray,
Remember then your Father
Owns all the sea and land;
Blessed are you if you trust
When you cannot understand."
As a Christian, I believe the greatest trial of our faith comes through suffering. It's easy to trust God when our bank accounts are full, our health is great, our children are loving and serving God and there are no giants in our land. When God makes sense, it's easy to trust Him. Our response to trials and suffering show if we are looking at God through our circumstances, or we are looking at our circumstances through God.
So many of us long to obey the verse that says to trust in the Lord with all our heart. Trusting is not dependent on circumstances or feelings. Trusting is a choice to believe what the Bible says about the character of God, rather than allowing your circumstances to determine the character of God. When we become angry or bitter towards God because of our circumstances, we are passing judgment on God. We then become the God of our life and we determine what is good and best for us. We allow the worlds perspective to become our perspective. If it feels good and makes us happy, it must be good! If it feels bad and makes us hurt, it must be bad. God is not interested in our happiness, He is interested in our character. We want to be like Christ, and yet we don't want to suffer like Christ.
I encourage you to make a choice to always trust God no matter what He allows into your life. Is it easy? No! Will it stretch you? Yes? Psalm 1:1-3 says the man who delights and meditates on the law of the Lord day and night will be be blessed. He will be like a tree planted by streams of water which yield its fruit in season and whose leaf does not wither. As we plant ourselves in the Bible on a daily basis we feed our root system that allows us to stand strong when the storms hit.
Are the leaves of your life withered? Are you angry or bitter towards God because of the circumstances in your life? Are you planted in His word each and every day? Are you trusting Him and speaking that trust to others? Are you loving Him in spite of your circumstances or because of your circumstances? Are you trusting Him even if He doesn't make sense? Are you demanding an explanation from God for your pain through your attitude and actions?
I pray you have decided to love God and to show Him your love each and every day as He showed you His love by carrying His cross and dying on it. In Matthew 16:25 these are Jesus' words, "If anyone would come after me, he must deny himself and take up his cross and follow me." So many of us want to follow Jesus and yet we don't want to carry the cross of suffering, trials, pain and tears. Following Jesus means denying ourselves the right to understanding, the right to having all our questions answered, the right to doubt his love based on what we feel. We are commanded to "take up" our cross. It is something we choose or don't choose on a daily basis. No one can take it up for you. God gives you a free will to love and trust. I pray we will all be found following in His footsteps, rather than forging our own path.
Today I am choosing to trust. Are you?
Thursday, October 28, 2010
Wednesday, August 4, 2010
"Father, I thank you that you have heard me."
Tomorrow I go back to work. Today I will attempt to accomplish my "what's left to do this summer" list. I think I will need more than one day.
I was able to attend the National Masters Track and Field championships in Oh So Hot Sacramento where the temperature hovered at 100 degrees each day. I placed 4th in shot with my second best throw of the year, 4 in discus with 3 personal records, 5th in hammer and 2nd in javelin. I threw against the American record holder in each event and the world record holder in hammer. Overall I was very pleased. In the process of training it looks like I've torn the meniscus in my right knee. I will have an MRI next week and see what the doctor recommends. Possible surgery once my season is over. I am still able to train and compete with recovery pain after each session but the doctor told me I am not making it worse.
After Nationals we went to Echo Lake for 4 days to vacation with all the girls. What a wonderful, laughter filled time at our favorite place! Time has stood still since this family cabin was built by my grandfather in 1932.
The day after we returned we put Cori on the plane for New York so she can finish her one year staff commitment to Metro Ministries. She is touching the lives of thousands of children each week. Chalese was hired at Christian to teach 10th grade English! She is ecstatic to have a full time job with benefits. She may have also torn her meniscus so she needs to get an MRI soon. It is not an inherited trait!
Taryn leaves in 3 weeks for Taylor University in Upland Indiana. We will fly back to help get her settled into her dorm. She is entering with 26 units of credit from her AP scores, which will enable her to double major in theater and Spanish.
Ashley is cutting hair at a salon near Balboa Park and working 2 other jobs while she builds her clientele. She is very excited to be working at this salon with only 3 other stylists.
Next week I will get a sonogram and mammogram. My blood work looks O.K. I am making an appointment with my nutritionist to read my blood panel. My white blood cell count is a little low. I feel great though.
Today in my devotions I was reading in John Chapter 11. Jesus was at Lazarus's tomb and he had asked the stone to be rolled away. He looked up and said, "Father, I thank you that you have heard me. I knew that you always hear me, but I said this for the benefit of people standing here, that they may believe you sent me."
Immediately after saying this he commanded Lazarus to come out of his grave. Streams in the Desert says, "The sequence of events in this passage seems strange and unusual. Lazarus was still in the tomb, yet Jesus' thanksgiving preceded the miracle of raising him from the dead. It seems that thanks would only have been lifted up once the great miracle had been accomplished and Lazarus had been restored to life. But Jesus gave thanks for what He was about to receive. His gratitude sprang forth before the blessing had arrived, in an expression of assurance that it was certainly on its way.The song of victory was sung before the battle had been fought. Who ever thinks of announcing a victory song as the army is just heading out to the battlefield? And where do we ever hear a song of gratitude and thanksgiving for an answer that has not yet been received?"
"Now faith is being sure of what we hope for and certain of what we do not see. This is what the ancients were commended for." Hebrews 11:1
Will you be commended by your heavenly Father for being a man or woman of faith? Do you believe and stand on His word no matter what your circumstances tell you? Are your emotions governed by your circumstances or the truth of His promises? God will stretch, strengthen and test your faith in order to help you become more like Him. Cast your cares onto Him because He cares for you. Let your praise precede you into battle. Every battle you engage in is the Lord's. Let Him fight it for you. Run to your giant, not away from it. Arm yourself with His word. Refuse to let the enemy steal your joy, your hope, your trust. He will only take what you give him.
August 29th will mark the end of 3 years since being diagnosed with cancer. I have faced death, depression, despair, loss, pain, and a radical lifestyle change (not to mention all the medical procedures) but I have faced them with a God who loves me. I am grateful to be alive and enjoying good health, and to have ministry from this giant that marched into my life wielding a sword of death and destruction. I did not choose cancer, but God allowed it to choose me. I thank Him for what this journey has done for my faith. It has been a privilege to reflect His image for all to see these past 3 years. I hope I have made him proud.
I was able to attend the National Masters Track and Field championships in Oh So Hot Sacramento where the temperature hovered at 100 degrees each day. I placed 4th in shot with my second best throw of the year, 4 in discus with 3 personal records, 5th in hammer and 2nd in javelin. I threw against the American record holder in each event and the world record holder in hammer. Overall I was very pleased. In the process of training it looks like I've torn the meniscus in my right knee. I will have an MRI next week and see what the doctor recommends. Possible surgery once my season is over. I am still able to train and compete with recovery pain after each session but the doctor told me I am not making it worse.
After Nationals we went to Echo Lake for 4 days to vacation with all the girls. What a wonderful, laughter filled time at our favorite place! Time has stood still since this family cabin was built by my grandfather in 1932.
The day after we returned we put Cori on the plane for New York so she can finish her one year staff commitment to Metro Ministries. She is touching the lives of thousands of children each week. Chalese was hired at Christian to teach 10th grade English! She is ecstatic to have a full time job with benefits. She may have also torn her meniscus so she needs to get an MRI soon. It is not an inherited trait!
Taryn leaves in 3 weeks for Taylor University in Upland Indiana. We will fly back to help get her settled into her dorm. She is entering with 26 units of credit from her AP scores, which will enable her to double major in theater and Spanish.
Ashley is cutting hair at a salon near Balboa Park and working 2 other jobs while she builds her clientele. She is very excited to be working at this salon with only 3 other stylists.
Next week I will get a sonogram and mammogram. My blood work looks O.K. I am making an appointment with my nutritionist to read my blood panel. My white blood cell count is a little low. I feel great though.
Today in my devotions I was reading in John Chapter 11. Jesus was at Lazarus's tomb and he had asked the stone to be rolled away. He looked up and said, "Father, I thank you that you have heard me. I knew that you always hear me, but I said this for the benefit of people standing here, that they may believe you sent me."
Immediately after saying this he commanded Lazarus to come out of his grave. Streams in the Desert says, "The sequence of events in this passage seems strange and unusual. Lazarus was still in the tomb, yet Jesus' thanksgiving preceded the miracle of raising him from the dead. It seems that thanks would only have been lifted up once the great miracle had been accomplished and Lazarus had been restored to life. But Jesus gave thanks for what He was about to receive. His gratitude sprang forth before the blessing had arrived, in an expression of assurance that it was certainly on its way.The song of victory was sung before the battle had been fought. Who ever thinks of announcing a victory song as the army is just heading out to the battlefield? And where do we ever hear a song of gratitude and thanksgiving for an answer that has not yet been received?"
"Now faith is being sure of what we hope for and certain of what we do not see. This is what the ancients were commended for." Hebrews 11:1
Will you be commended by your heavenly Father for being a man or woman of faith? Do you believe and stand on His word no matter what your circumstances tell you? Are your emotions governed by your circumstances or the truth of His promises? God will stretch, strengthen and test your faith in order to help you become more like Him. Cast your cares onto Him because He cares for you. Let your praise precede you into battle. Every battle you engage in is the Lord's. Let Him fight it for you. Run to your giant, not away from it. Arm yourself with His word. Refuse to let the enemy steal your joy, your hope, your trust. He will only take what you give him.
August 29th will mark the end of 3 years since being diagnosed with cancer. I have faced death, depression, despair, loss, pain, and a radical lifestyle change (not to mention all the medical procedures) but I have faced them with a God who loves me. I am grateful to be alive and enjoying good health, and to have ministry from this giant that marched into my life wielding a sword of death and destruction. I did not choose cancer, but God allowed it to choose me. I thank Him for what this journey has done for my faith. It has been a privilege to reflect His image for all to see these past 3 years. I hope I have made him proud.
Friday, June 18, 2010
Tribute to my Dad
Costco Salmon is a traditional gift for my father on Father's day. This year however, I decided on something different. My father has spent over 1/2 a century being my "favorite father" as I like to call him. Of course this is in response to him calling me his "darling only daughter". If you are reading this, Kim and Sani, I hope this does not come as a shock to you. You both should know by now that you are adopted and I am the only true daughter.
Some of you may be wondering why I am so mean. I don't know how long ago this banter started but my dad lovingly refers to my sister Sani as his "adopted" daughter and me as his "only daughter". Sani has patiently, tenderly and faithfully cared for all of my fathers needs for many, many years. Only a true daughter would do that and I thank you Sani. You are the other half of me.
Now back to dad. When I read about the love my heavenly father has for me, I see a reflection of my dad. Deuteronomy 1:30 says my heavenly father will go before me and fight for me and that I should not be terrified or afraid. Thank you dad for fighting my battles and always protecting me. I could always count on you to speak to teachers, Principals, and coaches on my behalf. I think of all the times you stood with me as we faced my fears together. Those fears came in the form of nightmares, riding BIG horses, trying new sports, encountering crashed planes loaded with drugs in the middle of the night, intruders in our home, going off to college, moving away from home and cancer.
Matthew 6 talks about our Heavenly father providing food and clothing and knowing the needs of what he created. Thank you dad for working so hard to always provide for us. There was never a shortage of Almond Joy's in my life or Denver Mints, Saltwater Taffy or hamburgers at the Country Club. You provided hotels(Four Seasons was my favorite), travel expenses, uniforms and equipment for all the years I competed in all those sports. You faithfully sat for hundreds of hours in all kinds of stadiums in all kinds of weather watching me compete. You provided every opportunity for me to excel in any endeavor I wanted to try. When life was beating me up I know I could come running to the corner where you stood and you would pull out the stool. I would plop down exhausted and worn from the fight and you would give me the pep talk I needed to go back and face life again. You have always been my wisest "Life Coach". From you I have learned to "be a duck" and to "pick up the smooth end and let the rough end drag." I have continued to move "onward and upward" even when life throws me curves.
Every father leaves a legacy either good, bad or indifferent. I pray that I have lived my life in such a way that it has honored you dad and made you proud. I pray the legacy of how you care for, encourage and love people continues through me.
Thank you for being my favorite only father. I am eternally grateful.
Love and hugs,
Your only daughter,
Linn
Some of you may be wondering why I am so mean. I don't know how long ago this banter started but my dad lovingly refers to my sister Sani as his "adopted" daughter and me as his "only daughter". Sani has patiently, tenderly and faithfully cared for all of my fathers needs for many, many years. Only a true daughter would do that and I thank you Sani. You are the other half of me.
Now back to dad. When I read about the love my heavenly father has for me, I see a reflection of my dad. Deuteronomy 1:30 says my heavenly father will go before me and fight for me and that I should not be terrified or afraid. Thank you dad for fighting my battles and always protecting me. I could always count on you to speak to teachers, Principals, and coaches on my behalf. I think of all the times you stood with me as we faced my fears together. Those fears came in the form of nightmares, riding BIG horses, trying new sports, encountering crashed planes loaded with drugs in the middle of the night, intruders in our home, going off to college, moving away from home and cancer.
Matthew 6 talks about our Heavenly father providing food and clothing and knowing the needs of what he created. Thank you dad for working so hard to always provide for us. There was never a shortage of Almond Joy's in my life or Denver Mints, Saltwater Taffy or hamburgers at the Country Club. You provided hotels(Four Seasons was my favorite), travel expenses, uniforms and equipment for all the years I competed in all those sports. You faithfully sat for hundreds of hours in all kinds of stadiums in all kinds of weather watching me compete. You provided every opportunity for me to excel in any endeavor I wanted to try. When life was beating me up I know I could come running to the corner where you stood and you would pull out the stool. I would plop down exhausted and worn from the fight and you would give me the pep talk I needed to go back and face life again. You have always been my wisest "Life Coach". From you I have learned to "be a duck" and to "pick up the smooth end and let the rough end drag." I have continued to move "onward and upward" even when life throws me curves.
Every father leaves a legacy either good, bad or indifferent. I pray that I have lived my life in such a way that it has honored you dad and made you proud. I pray the legacy of how you care for, encourage and love people continues through me.
Thank you for being my favorite only father. I am eternally grateful.
Love and hugs,
Your only daughter,
Linn
Tuesday, May 18, 2010
Pressed Beyond Measure
Beth. Terri. Linn. Three women who loved the Lord and each other. Bound together by a desire to beat the odds and our cancer. Determined to face the battle with a God saturated soul. Today Terri joined Beth at the throne of our Father. I imagine the hug was a long one. On Sunday I left a message on Terri's phone just telling her I loved her and was praying for her. I wish I had gotten to say goodbye. I guess that was my goodbye. My heart aches so much. I never thought any of us would die. We all got through our surgeries and treatment and at one time were enjoying "radiant health" as Terri called it. We were each others cheerleaders, encouraging one another to stay the course and not be overwhelmed with the difficulty of the battle. I never suffered physically like Beth and Terri did but I know what it is like to wake up every day knowing the battle to stay in remission will never be over. For me it isn't chemo cocktails and radiation treatments but a life of hard discipline. It's planning, preparing and taking 40+ supplements a day. It's denying myself every day of things I love to eat. It's the constant challenge to buy, wash, scrub and juice pound after pound of carrots. Then it's drinking the stuff and telling myself I love it. Liquid life as my brother-in-law calls it. It's the work of fixing a dinner for my family and one for me every day. The list could go on but I will stop here. The point is, no weapon used to fight cancer is easy. Beth, Terri and I linked hearts as we stood together trusting God with our lives. I feel so vulnerable standing alone now. I thought today, "Why them?" "Why not me?" I have no answers but I know I am still here for a purpose and a reason.
In August of 2007 when I was first diagnosed with cancer I began reading Streams in the Desert. It is a yearly devotional and I have read through it each year since then. This is an excerpt from today's devotional
Pressed beyond measure; yes, pressed to great length;
Pressed so intensely, beyond my own strength;
Pressed in my body and pressed in my soul,
Pressed in my mind till the dark surges roll.
Pressure from foes, and pressure from dear friends.
Pressure on pressure, till life nearly ends.
Pressed into knowing no helper but God;
Pressed into loving His staff and His rod.
Pressed into liberty where nothing clings;
Pressed into faith for impossible things.
Pressed into living my life for the Lord,
Pressed into living a Christ-life outpoured.
"The pressure of difficult times makes us value life. Every time our life is spared and given back to us after a trial, it is like a new beginning. We better understand its value and thereby apply ourselves more effectively for God and for humankind. And the pressure we endure helps us to understand the trials of others, equipping us to help them and to sympathize with them."
I know Beth and Terri lived a Christ-life outpoured and they used their battle with cancer to help others like myself. I am deeply indebted to them. I hope to make you girls proud as I carry on the fight to stay in radiant health so I too can continue to help those who will follow behind me. Goodbye and I love you both so much.
In August of 2007 when I was first diagnosed with cancer I began reading Streams in the Desert. It is a yearly devotional and I have read through it each year since then. This is an excerpt from today's devotional
Pressed beyond measure; yes, pressed to great length;
Pressed so intensely, beyond my own strength;
Pressed in my body and pressed in my soul,
Pressed in my mind till the dark surges roll.
Pressure from foes, and pressure from dear friends.
Pressure on pressure, till life nearly ends.
Pressed into knowing no helper but God;
Pressed into loving His staff and His rod.
Pressed into liberty where nothing clings;
Pressed into faith for impossible things.
Pressed into living my life for the Lord,
Pressed into living a Christ-life outpoured.
"The pressure of difficult times makes us value life. Every time our life is spared and given back to us after a trial, it is like a new beginning. We better understand its value and thereby apply ourselves more effectively for God and for humankind. And the pressure we endure helps us to understand the trials of others, equipping us to help them and to sympathize with them."
I know Beth and Terri lived a Christ-life outpoured and they used their battle with cancer to help others like myself. I am deeply indebted to them. I hope to make you girls proud as I carry on the fight to stay in radiant health so I too can continue to help those who will follow behind me. Goodbye and I love you both so much.
Friday, March 12, 2010
Pit Stops In Life
Silence. Solitude. Quietness of thought and heart. How foreign these words are to us. The faster we go the behinder we get! We are living in a rat race but the rat is outpacing us. How do we get out of the fast lane and slow down enough to enjoy the scenery of life? Like anything worth having, it takes discipline. I remember countless road trips as a child driving with my 4 siblings from New Mexico to Echo Lake which is a spectacular lake not far from Tahoe's south shores. My favorite part of those drives were the stops. We would all pile out and run to look at whatever scenic spot my dad had chosen for us. Sometimes it was something educational and other times it was just a convenience store that had a CANDY aisle. Treats were one of my dad's love languages and we loved being loved! Soon we would all pile back in, settle down with our snacks and once again be content to resume playing the license plate game or "guess how long this stretch of the road is"?
How beneficial it would be to each of us as adults to plan some daily pit stops. Push away from your desk, stop working on your to do list, turn off the phone and pull over for a minute. Pick up a book and read a chapter, get outside and look at God's creation, call a friend you've been out of touch with, find a sunny spot, sit down, close your eyes and do absolutely nothing. My dad knew just how much his children could handle before needing a diversion from the journey. Your heavenly Father knows the same. When you feel like the road it too long, the speed too fast, the bumps too many, pull over and get out of the car. God will refresh you and pour His sustaining power into your life for whatever the trip holds. You are never too old for a treat!
How beneficial it would be to each of us as adults to plan some daily pit stops. Push away from your desk, stop working on your to do list, turn off the phone and pull over for a minute. Pick up a book and read a chapter, get outside and look at God's creation, call a friend you've been out of touch with, find a sunny spot, sit down, close your eyes and do absolutely nothing. My dad knew just how much his children could handle before needing a diversion from the journey. Your heavenly Father knows the same. When you feel like the road it too long, the speed too fast, the bumps too many, pull over and get out of the car. God will refresh you and pour His sustaining power into your life for whatever the trip holds. You are never too old for a treat!
Monday, February 15, 2010
Let God be God
My favorite Christian author is Max Lucado. This is an excerpt from his book The Great House of God. I hope it will encourage you. Often I feel I am in the boat being tossed by the storm. It is hard to set my sights on an object unaffected by the wind. I look at the waves pounding my faith and the winds that assault my peace. My encouragement to myself and to you is to be still and know that He is God. Each day I am looking for the victories to celebrate and the blessings that He sends my way. Two weeks ago I attended the funeral of Beth, my friend of 8 years, and the librarian at our school. She was diagnosed with cancer one year before I was. She had surgery, treatment and then went into remission. The cancer came back this summer. I was able to spend quite a bit of time with her at the end of her life. Every time I left her hospital room I cried and thanked God for my good health and the chance to encourage sweet friends like Beth. No financial loss, no stress from my job or helping my children find their way in life can compare to the loss of health. I am going to try to live life to the fullest even when the storm is raging around me because I know He is anchoring my soul.
"I am more a landlubber than a sailor, but I've puttered around in a bass boat enough to know the secret for finding land in a storm...You don't aim at another boat. You certainly don't stare at the waves. You set your sights on an object unaffected by the wind-a light on the shore-and go straight toward it. The light is unaffected by the storm. By seeking God in the chapel, you do the same. When you set your sights on our God, you focus on one "a cut above" any storm life may bring.
Like Job, you find peace in the pain.
Like Job, you cover your mouth and sit still.
"Be still, and know that I am God" (Psalm 46:10) This verse contains a command with a promise.
The command?
Be still.
Cover your mouth.
Bend your knees.
The promise? You will know that I am God.
The vessel of faith journeys on soft waters. Belief rides on the wings of waiting.
Linger in the chapel. Linger often in the chapel. In the midst of your daily storms, make it a point to be still and set your sights on him. Let God be God. Let him bathe you in his glory so that both your breath and your trouble are sucked from your soul. Be still. Be quiet. Be open and willing. Then you will know that God is God, and you can't help but confess, "Hallowed be thy name."
"I am more a landlubber than a sailor, but I've puttered around in a bass boat enough to know the secret for finding land in a storm...You don't aim at another boat. You certainly don't stare at the waves. You set your sights on an object unaffected by the wind-a light on the shore-and go straight toward it. The light is unaffected by the storm. By seeking God in the chapel, you do the same. When you set your sights on our God, you focus on one "a cut above" any storm life may bring.
Like Job, you find peace in the pain.
Like Job, you cover your mouth and sit still.
"Be still, and know that I am God" (Psalm 46:10) This verse contains a command with a promise.
The command?
Be still.
Cover your mouth.
Bend your knees.
The promise? You will know that I am God.
The vessel of faith journeys on soft waters. Belief rides on the wings of waiting.
Linger in the chapel. Linger often in the chapel. In the midst of your daily storms, make it a point to be still and set your sights on him. Let God be God. Let him bathe you in his glory so that both your breath and your trouble are sucked from your soul. Be still. Be quiet. Be open and willing. Then you will know that God is God, and you can't help but confess, "Hallowed be thy name."
Friday, January 8, 2010
Muscles of Steel
Saturday, January 2nd found me standing in a throwing ring at UCSD with a hammer in my hand. Not the kind you drive nails into a wall with, but the round 6 lb. steel ball attached to a long wire that is thrown! I did not wake up January 1st and make a New Years resolution to begin learning to throw heavy, round metal objects. The journey to the UCSD ring was a 20 year one. I had briefly thrown hammer with my mom at a National Masters Track meet here in San Diego in 1989. I had always wanted to try it again but the opportunity did not present itself until recently.
At the end of my training session I came away with sore muscles, torn skin on my fingers and great enthusiasm for learning the new events of weight and hammer throwing! The next day I woke up with a new resolve to get into the weight room in an attempt to gain muscles of steel to throw the implements of steel!
During my battle with cancer I have learned that it takes spiritual muscles of steel to withstand the war that wages against your body and soul. In Streams in the Desert it says, "The irons of sorrow and loss, the burdens carried as a youth, and the soul's struggle against sin all contribute to developing an iron tenacity and strength of purpose, as well as endurance and fortitude. And these traits make up the indispensable foundation and framework of noble character. Never run from suffering, but bear it silently, patiently and submissively, with the assurance that it is God's way of instilling iron into your spiritual life. The world is looking for iron leaders, iron armies, iron tendons and muscles of steel. But God is looking for saints of iron, and since there is no way to impart iron into people's moral nature except by letting them suffer, He allows them to suffer. Your iron crown of suffering precedes your golden crown of glory, and iron is entering your soul to make it strong and brave."
Each time this year that I walk through the doors of 24 Hour Fitness I will thank God for the gift of health and life. I will let it remind me of the iron He has imparted into my soul these past 2 1/2 years.
My prayer for each of you is that when God allows you to suffer you will know that it is because He has a plan and a purpose in it. If you maintain the right attitude and perspective through your trial, you will exit it stronger in character than when you entered it. Allow God to mold you and shape you into a "Saint of Iron".
Two of my New Years Resolutions are to gain muscles of steel to throw implements of steel and to be transformed into a Saint of Steel as I embrace any suffering that my heavenly Father allows to come my way. I'm off to the weight room!
At the end of my training session I came away with sore muscles, torn skin on my fingers and great enthusiasm for learning the new events of weight and hammer throwing! The next day I woke up with a new resolve to get into the weight room in an attempt to gain muscles of steel to throw the implements of steel!
During my battle with cancer I have learned that it takes spiritual muscles of steel to withstand the war that wages against your body and soul. In Streams in the Desert it says, "The irons of sorrow and loss, the burdens carried as a youth, and the soul's struggle against sin all contribute to developing an iron tenacity and strength of purpose, as well as endurance and fortitude. And these traits make up the indispensable foundation and framework of noble character. Never run from suffering, but bear it silently, patiently and submissively, with the assurance that it is God's way of instilling iron into your spiritual life. The world is looking for iron leaders, iron armies, iron tendons and muscles of steel. But God is looking for saints of iron, and since there is no way to impart iron into people's moral nature except by letting them suffer, He allows them to suffer. Your iron crown of suffering precedes your golden crown of glory, and iron is entering your soul to make it strong and brave."
Each time this year that I walk through the doors of 24 Hour Fitness I will thank God for the gift of health and life. I will let it remind me of the iron He has imparted into my soul these past 2 1/2 years.
My prayer for each of you is that when God allows you to suffer you will know that it is because He has a plan and a purpose in it. If you maintain the right attitude and perspective through your trial, you will exit it stronger in character than when you entered it. Allow God to mold you and shape you into a "Saint of Iron".
Two of my New Years Resolutions are to gain muscles of steel to throw implements of steel and to be transformed into a Saint of Steel as I embrace any suffering that my heavenly Father allows to come my way. I'm off to the weight room!
Thursday, December 24, 2009
Treasuring and pondering
Tomorrow is Christmas! Do you find it hard not to get caught up in the frenzy of what this holiday has become? Shopping, shopping, shopping! I too have felt the pressure to make this holiday what I know it is not. Today I paused and just sat and reflected. A passage from Luke guided my thoughts. Chapter 2 is the story of the birth of Jesus. Verses 16-20 say, "So they hurried off and found Mary and Joseph, and the baby, who was lying in the manger. When they had seen him, they spread the word concerning what had been told them about this child, and all who heard it were amazed at what the shepherds said to them. But Mary treasured up all these things and pondered them in her heart. The shepherds returned, glorifying and praising God for all the things they had heard and seen, which were just as they had been told."
The shepherds left their flocks to go to Bethlehem to behold the baby Jesus. The sight of this baby compelled them to spread the word about his birth. They weren't rushing to the mall to buy gifts, they were rushing to tell others about the greatest gift that would ever be given.
Mary's response was to treasure up all these things and ponder them in her heart. This baby was a gift from heaven not only to Mary, but to the world. Her only response was to ponder upon the reality of what she had been given and then to treasure these thoughts in her heart.
As you reflect on this past year, what are you pondering on and treasuring in your heart? Many of you have suffered at the hands of the economy. Some of you have dealt with death and sickness! Others of you may have felt the pain of a broken heart or relationships that have been strained. Yet in all of this there is a gift. The gift of God's constant love and care for you. His presence is greater than any present you will unwrap this year.
I encourage you to give God the gift of your presence this season as you ponder the good He has done in your life this past year. Treasure them in your heart and then, like the shepherds, glorify and praise God for all these things! Never forget the gift you unwrap each and every day, which is the gift of His son so you can have life, and have it abundantly!
This is the true meaning of Christmas!
The shepherds left their flocks to go to Bethlehem to behold the baby Jesus. The sight of this baby compelled them to spread the word about his birth. They weren't rushing to the mall to buy gifts, they were rushing to tell others about the greatest gift that would ever be given.
Mary's response was to treasure up all these things and ponder them in her heart. This baby was a gift from heaven not only to Mary, but to the world. Her only response was to ponder upon the reality of what she had been given and then to treasure these thoughts in her heart.
As you reflect on this past year, what are you pondering on and treasuring in your heart? Many of you have suffered at the hands of the economy. Some of you have dealt with death and sickness! Others of you may have felt the pain of a broken heart or relationships that have been strained. Yet in all of this there is a gift. The gift of God's constant love and care for you. His presence is greater than any present you will unwrap this year.
I encourage you to give God the gift of your presence this season as you ponder the good He has done in your life this past year. Treasure them in your heart and then, like the shepherds, glorify and praise God for all these things! Never forget the gift you unwrap each and every day, which is the gift of His son so you can have life, and have it abundantly!
This is the true meaning of Christmas!
Wednesday, December 2, 2009
In the midst of affliction
These are some excerpts from my devotions lately.
"Suffering is a wonderful fertilizer for the roots of character. The great objective of this life is character, for it is the only thing we can carry with us into eternity. And gaining as much of the highest character possible is the purpose of our trials."
"We often pray to be delivered from afflictions, and even trust God that we will be. But we do not pray for Him to make us what we should be while in the midst of the afflictions. Nor do we pray that we would be able to live within them, for however long they may last, in the complete awareness that we are held and sheltered by the Lord and can therefore continue within them without suffering any harm."
Suffering ourselves or watching others suffer can be at times unbearable. The weight of suffering can crush the soul. No man can bear up under suffering. Christ is the only one able to shoulder the intense pain of our suffering. Casting our cares upon him is crucial if we are to stand under the weight of our sorrow.
Saturday will be the memorial service for Danica, a friend who died at the young age of 31, leaving behind a sweet husband and 2 darling children, ages 3 and 9. God has led our family to bear the burden of grief with this family. Deep sorrow has washed over my heart time and time again as I have reflected on what a life without mom and wife will mean in the days and years to come for this family.
Last week a dear friend and fellow colleague of mine had to undergo surgery to remove part of her colon and some tumors that were found. Terri has battled cancer for these past 7 years. I have prayed with her, walked alongside her the entire journey and asked God to heal her. She is Taryn's senior English teacher and one of the most loved teachers on campus.
Beth is our librarian and another good friend of mine for these past 8 years. She was diagnosed with colon cancer a few years ago and was in remission. She is now battling cancer again. Beth is one of the sweetest people I know. She is suffering intensely and yet every time I speak with her she is concerned about my health!
And then there is Brittany, a former student of mine who just turned 14. She has had several surgeries to remove a brain tumor and is in and out of the hospital now as the doctors are trying different treatments. The suffering this young girl has endured is more than most adults could bear.
I sit here writing in wonderful health with my cancer in full remission, wondering, "Why not me?' How have I managed to free myself from the clutches of this insidious disease while others have not? My gratefulness to my Heavenly father is indescribable. I will never have the answer this side of heaven but I know what I must do. With the health and strength He has given me, I must let Him use my life every day to encourage those who are suffering around me. The strength He gives me is not meant to be kept, but given away. His word must fill my life so I can use it to help anchor the soul of those who are being tossed by the storm. My peace will be found in silence and solitude. So will yours.
Terri, Beth, and Brittany, you are my inspiration. Please know there is not one day that I do not pray for you, think of you and hurt deeply as I watch you suffer. I have wept many, many days as God has gripped my heart with a powerful love for each of you. Psalm 39:12 says, "Hear my prayer, O Lord, listen to my cry for help; be not deaf to my weeping." Psalm 40:1 says, "I waited patiently for the Lord; he turned to me and heard my cry."
I know you are holding on with all your strength to the hand of our Father. Don't let go! I love you!
"Suffering is a wonderful fertilizer for the roots of character. The great objective of this life is character, for it is the only thing we can carry with us into eternity. And gaining as much of the highest character possible is the purpose of our trials."
"We often pray to be delivered from afflictions, and even trust God that we will be. But we do not pray for Him to make us what we should be while in the midst of the afflictions. Nor do we pray that we would be able to live within them, for however long they may last, in the complete awareness that we are held and sheltered by the Lord and can therefore continue within them without suffering any harm."
Suffering ourselves or watching others suffer can be at times unbearable. The weight of suffering can crush the soul. No man can bear up under suffering. Christ is the only one able to shoulder the intense pain of our suffering. Casting our cares upon him is crucial if we are to stand under the weight of our sorrow.
Saturday will be the memorial service for Danica, a friend who died at the young age of 31, leaving behind a sweet husband and 2 darling children, ages 3 and 9. God has led our family to bear the burden of grief with this family. Deep sorrow has washed over my heart time and time again as I have reflected on what a life without mom and wife will mean in the days and years to come for this family.
Last week a dear friend and fellow colleague of mine had to undergo surgery to remove part of her colon and some tumors that were found. Terri has battled cancer for these past 7 years. I have prayed with her, walked alongside her the entire journey and asked God to heal her. She is Taryn's senior English teacher and one of the most loved teachers on campus.
Beth is our librarian and another good friend of mine for these past 8 years. She was diagnosed with colon cancer a few years ago and was in remission. She is now battling cancer again. Beth is one of the sweetest people I know. She is suffering intensely and yet every time I speak with her she is concerned about my health!
And then there is Brittany, a former student of mine who just turned 14. She has had several surgeries to remove a brain tumor and is in and out of the hospital now as the doctors are trying different treatments. The suffering this young girl has endured is more than most adults could bear.
I sit here writing in wonderful health with my cancer in full remission, wondering, "Why not me?' How have I managed to free myself from the clutches of this insidious disease while others have not? My gratefulness to my Heavenly father is indescribable. I will never have the answer this side of heaven but I know what I must do. With the health and strength He has given me, I must let Him use my life every day to encourage those who are suffering around me. The strength He gives me is not meant to be kept, but given away. His word must fill my life so I can use it to help anchor the soul of those who are being tossed by the storm. My peace will be found in silence and solitude. So will yours.
Terri, Beth, and Brittany, you are my inspiration. Please know there is not one day that I do not pray for you, think of you and hurt deeply as I watch you suffer. I have wept many, many days as God has gripped my heart with a powerful love for each of you. Psalm 39:12 says, "Hear my prayer, O Lord, listen to my cry for help; be not deaf to my weeping." Psalm 40:1 says, "I waited patiently for the Lord; he turned to me and heard my cry."
I know you are holding on with all your strength to the hand of our Father. Don't let go! I love you!
Friday, October 30, 2009
Resting and recovering
On Tuesday I had a two hernias in my groin surgically repaired. My doctor did not know before surgery if she would be able to use an old C-section scar but when I woke up I discovered that is exactly what she did. I was thrilled because it will probably mean a quicker recovery time with only one incision and none in my groin. I was in surgery for 2 hours and then home about 3 hours later. The doctor will have the mass she removed biopsied for cancer but she told Sewell she did not think it was cancer. I was excited to hear that but I will be even more relieved once I get the lab results. I was a little nauseous the first day but since then I have only had to take 2 Ibuprofen. I must have a high tolerance for pain or I am healing very quickly. Probably a combination of both. The hardest part is just "resting and relaxing" as my dad always says. I am more of a doer than a sitter. I know I inherited that trait. I am getting all my "sitting" projects done and even watching a few movies and doing some reading.
These past few days I have read some passages from my devotions I want to share with you. L.B. Cowman says, "There is another kind of patience that I believe is harder to obtain-the patience that runs. Lying down during a time of grief, or being quiet after a financial setback, certainly implies great strength, but I know of something that suggests even greater strength-the power to continue working after a set-back, the power to still run with a heavy heart, and the power to perform your daily tasks with deep sorrow in your spirit. This is a Christlike thing. Many of us could tearlessly deal with our grief if only we were allowed to do so in private. Yet what is so difficult is that most of us are called to exercise our patience not in bed but in the open street, for all to see. We are called upon to bury our sorrows not in restful inactivity but in active service-in our workplace, while shopping, and during social events-contributing to other people's joy. No other way of burying our sorrow is as difficult as this, for it is truly what is meant by running "with patience." Hebrews 12:1
During these past 2 years I wish I could have taken a "timeout" from life to grieve and process but time continued to march on with no regard for the state of my heart. Time did not stop when I was diagnosed with cancer, when my father-in-love died, or when my mother died. Time did not stop for additional mammograms, sonograms and biopsies to check once again for cancer.
Jesus knew what it was like to bear a mighty grief that was not shared or spoken. He knew what was ahead for him and yet he continued to do the work his Father had called him to do. He brought joy to the multitudes in the midst of his own silent suffering.
I believe there are those of you who are bearing a great amount of suffering right now. As you wait on Him each day, He will give you the strength and power to perform your daily tasks. His mercies are new every morning. Great is His faithfulness. He wants us to come to Him each and every day so He can fill us with himself. His presence will enable us to face whatever the day may hold.
One of the greatest lessons I have learned these past few years is how to pause long enough from my "Martha" tendencies to become a "Mary". Mary was the one who sat as Jesus feet while Martha bustled around cleaning the house and getting dinner ready. When you read this story in Luke 10:38-41 you will see that Jesus says Martha is worried and upset about many things and distracted with all her preparations. He tells Martha that Mary has CHOSEN the better part.
Each day you and I have a choice. We can stop all our busyness and come sit at Jesus' feet, or we can work our way through the day, never pausing to be filled and refreshed with His presence. It is a choice. This is the most critical choice you and I will make each day. What we choose will shape who we are. Do you take time to read your bible and pray before facing your day? Do you give the sorrows and burdens you carry to Him before leaving your house? Does His peace guard your heart and your mind? There will never be enough time to meet with God. The tyranny of the urgent will always try to dictate the use of your time. Be a Mary. CHOOSE WHAT IS BETTER. Then and only then will you be able to run with endurance the race that is set out for you, fixing your eyes on Jesus, the author and perfecter of your faith. Hebrews 12:1-2.
May discipline, quietness, devotion and prayer be what you are known for. Let others draw strength from you as you draw strength from your heavenly Father.
These past few days I have read some passages from my devotions I want to share with you. L.B. Cowman says, "There is another kind of patience that I believe is harder to obtain-the patience that runs. Lying down during a time of grief, or being quiet after a financial setback, certainly implies great strength, but I know of something that suggests even greater strength-the power to continue working after a set-back, the power to still run with a heavy heart, and the power to perform your daily tasks with deep sorrow in your spirit. This is a Christlike thing. Many of us could tearlessly deal with our grief if only we were allowed to do so in private. Yet what is so difficult is that most of us are called to exercise our patience not in bed but in the open street, for all to see. We are called upon to bury our sorrows not in restful inactivity but in active service-in our workplace, while shopping, and during social events-contributing to other people's joy. No other way of burying our sorrow is as difficult as this, for it is truly what is meant by running "with patience." Hebrews 12:1
During these past 2 years I wish I could have taken a "timeout" from life to grieve and process but time continued to march on with no regard for the state of my heart. Time did not stop when I was diagnosed with cancer, when my father-in-love died, or when my mother died. Time did not stop for additional mammograms, sonograms and biopsies to check once again for cancer.
Jesus knew what it was like to bear a mighty grief that was not shared or spoken. He knew what was ahead for him and yet he continued to do the work his Father had called him to do. He brought joy to the multitudes in the midst of his own silent suffering.
I believe there are those of you who are bearing a great amount of suffering right now. As you wait on Him each day, He will give you the strength and power to perform your daily tasks. His mercies are new every morning. Great is His faithfulness. He wants us to come to Him each and every day so He can fill us with himself. His presence will enable us to face whatever the day may hold.
One of the greatest lessons I have learned these past few years is how to pause long enough from my "Martha" tendencies to become a "Mary". Mary was the one who sat as Jesus feet while Martha bustled around cleaning the house and getting dinner ready. When you read this story in Luke 10:38-41 you will see that Jesus says Martha is worried and upset about many things and distracted with all her preparations. He tells Martha that Mary has CHOSEN the better part.
Each day you and I have a choice. We can stop all our busyness and come sit at Jesus' feet, or we can work our way through the day, never pausing to be filled and refreshed with His presence. It is a choice. This is the most critical choice you and I will make each day. What we choose will shape who we are. Do you take time to read your bible and pray before facing your day? Do you give the sorrows and burdens you carry to Him before leaving your house? Does His peace guard your heart and your mind? There will never be enough time to meet with God. The tyranny of the urgent will always try to dictate the use of your time. Be a Mary. CHOOSE WHAT IS BETTER. Then and only then will you be able to run with endurance the race that is set out for you, fixing your eyes on Jesus, the author and perfecter of your faith. Hebrews 12:1-2.
May discipline, quietness, devotion and prayer be what you are known for. Let others draw strength from you as you draw strength from your heavenly Father.
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