Called to Battle

I was reading a devotional this morning called Streams In The Desert. This it what today's said.

He guarded him...like an eagle that stirs up its nest and hovers over its young, that spreads its wings to catch them and carries them on its pinions. The Lord alone led him, no foreign god was with him. Deuteronomy 32:10-12

When God places a burden upon you, He places his arms underneath you. ...do you understand that God may take away your comforts and privileges in order to make you a stronger Christian? Do you see why the Lord always trains His soldiers by not allowing them to lie on beds of ease but by calling them to difficult marches and service? He makes them wade through streams, swim across rivers, climb steep mountains, and make many long marches carrying heavy backpacks of sorrow. This is how He develops soldiers-not by dressing them up in fine uniforms to strut at the gates of the barracks or to appear as handsome gentlemen to those who are strolling through the park. No, God knows that soldiers can only be made in battle and are not developed in times of peace. We may be able to grow the raw materials of which soldiers are made, but turning them into true warriors requires the education brought about by the smell of gunpowder and by fighting in the midst of flying bullets and exploding bombs, not by living through pleasant and peaceful times. ...could this account for your situation? Is the Lord uncovering your gifts and causing them to grow? Is He developing in you the qualities of a soldier by shoving you into the heat of battle? Should you not then use every gift and weapon he has given you to become a conqueror? Charles Spurgeon

Our family has been thrown into the battle. I know that I have already grown and become stronger during this time. Each day I put on my armor of faith and trust and go to war against this cancer. I have been wading through a stream of information, swimming across rivers of advice and counsel, climbing a steep mountain of a radical nutritional lifestyle change, and marching through the hard days of emotions that are fragile. I know His arms are holding me up and giving me strength.
My life is in God's hands. This is His battle. I will praise and trust Him as He fights for me.

Doctor's make predictions, God makes promises!
I have found this road to be an emotional one. Every day I have to choose how I'm going to face my day. I can face it with the predictions of doctors or the promises of God. The only absolute truth I can be certain about concerning my life is what is written in the Bible.
Many people have asked what they can do for us at this time. I have told them to write encouraging scriptures down on 3x5 cards and give them to me. I take them everywhere and I'm constantly reading them. They stop the tears when I'm sitting in yet another doctor's office. They give me the strength to keep juicing and drinking spinach and carrots. They enable me to focus on my students and not the cancer. They guard my dreams at night. They are the solid ground I am standing on when all around me seems life shifting sand. They calm my heart and give me joy.
I know for many of you the road ahead may take a bend you did not expect. When it does, what will get you through? What will be your source of strength? Your friends and family will not be with you ever second of the day when the tide of emotions roll in. What will keep you from being thrown into depression and despair?
For me it is promises like these that have been given to me over these past weeks:
Isiah 41:10
"Fear not, for I am with you, do not look around in terror and be dismayed , for I am your God. I will strengthen and harden you (to difficulties); yes, I will help you; yes, I will hold you up and retain you with my victorious right hand."
John 14:27
"Peace I leave with you, my peace I give unto you, not as the world gives, give I unto you. Let not your hear be troubled, neither let it be afraid."
Isaiah 43:1-2
"Fear not, for I have redeemed you: I have called you by your name; you are mine. When you pass through the waters, I will be with you; and through the rivers they will not overflow you. When you walk through the fire, you shall not be burned, nor shall the flame scorch you."
Jeremiah 29:12
"Then you will call upon Me, and you will come and pray to Me, and I will listen to you."
At this time surgery is scheduled for Oct. 10th. I got a call from my surgeon last night and she is recommending I have the surgery done by the head surgeon at Scripps because I have concerns about removing my lymph nodes and she says he has the most experience. I have met this surgeon and I don't feel a real peace about him. I am looking into the Cancer Treatment Centers of America and into UCLA's cancer center. I need medical support and counsel as I fight this cancer with my own immune system and not chemotherapy and radiation. God has been leading me to many people that have been cured by not doing either of those. It takes a radical shift in diet (which I have made) and the willingness to do the research to become educated. I will be flying back east this month to spend 3 days at the Headquarters where the nutrition program I am on was established. This program is being used in some cancer centers. I am actively and aggressively fighting my cancer through nutrition and supplements before the medical doctors have even done one thing to treat me. I have met with immunologists and medical personnel that believe cancer can be cured without chemotherapy and radiation. I have spend hours in prayer and have the peace in my heart that this is what I am to pursue at this time. I don't have any fear in my heart about foregoing chemo. Please continue to pray God will bring the right people to help us on the road God is leading us down.

Making a Giant Decision

Have you ever had a giant decision to make? The kind where you desperately need to hear from God? Sewell and I need to make one concerning the path we should travel down for my healing. There are so many options which have been recommended by my doctors. They include surgery, removing lymph nodes, chemotherapy and radiation. We have been reading, questioning others, talking to people in the medical field and seeking God. The answer still is not clear. But today the chapter in Facing Your Giant was about hearing from God. After reading it I was so excited because I know we are doing all the right things to hear his voice. Here are some excerpts from the book.

"God hasn't changed. He still promises to guide you.
Psalm 32:8 "The Lord says, "I will guide you along the best pathway for your life. I will advise you and watch over you."

Whether you turn to the right or to the left, your ears will hear a voice behind you saying, "This is the way;walk in it." Isaiah 30:21

"Don't make a decision whether large or small, without sitting before God with open Bible, open heart, open ears, imitating the prayer of Samuel: Your servant is listening." I Samuel 3:10

"Sometimes a choice just "feels" right. When Luke justified the writing of his gospel to Theophilus, he said, "Since I myself have carefully investigated everything from the beginning, it seemed good also to me to write an orderly account for you, most excellent Theophilus." Luke 1:3 Luke pondered his options and selected the path that "seemed good."
The same God who is "working in you to help you want to do... what pleases him." Phil. 2:13
God creates the "want to" within us.

A century ago F.B. Meyer wrote
"Are you in a difficulty about your way? Go to God with your question; get direction from the light of his smile or the cloud of his refusal...get alone, where the lights and shadows of earth cannot interfere, where the disturbance of self-will does not intrude, where human opinions fail to reach..wait there silent and expectant, though all around you insist on immediate decision or action-the will of God will be made clear, and you will have...a new conception of God, and a deeper insight into his nature."

Lucado finishes by saying, "You all have a need to face the giant-size questions of your life. Most of all you have a God who loves you too much to let you wander. Trust Him."

Since being diagnosed with cancer I have felt an urgency pressed in on me by the world to take immediate action. And yet in my heart I have not had the peace to take such action. The more and more I research and talk to women the more I do not feel God is leading me to do chemotherapy. There are so many reasons which have resulted in not having the "want to" in my spirit from God. And yet I have the "want to"within me to fight this giant with nutrition and my own immune system. I have been diligently reading, seeking professional counsel from the medical field and mostly praying for God's guidance and direction. At this point I am going to schedule a lumpectomy but I need clear direction as to whether I should take any lymph nodes or leave them alone. I am asking God to guide me to a Medical Doctor who can shed some light on the benefits of leaving vs. taking if I am going to fight cancer with my immune system. Please pray for us that we will find that answer before surgery. I should have a date for surgery today. I am hoping it will be around October 15th.

If you need to make a decision, heed your heart for God. Consult your family of faith. Read your Bible and then silence your heart before Him. He will be faithful to direct your paths. And while you wait remember the words of Isaiah 41:10 "Fear not for I am with you. Do not be dismayed. I am your God. I will strengthen you; I will help you. I will uphold you with my victorious right hand."

Your gift

This morning I was reading Emilie Barnes' book A Journey Through Cancer. She is a writer and speaker who had cancer. Her first chapter is titled "The Gift I Didn't Want To Open." Here is what she says. "I think we often feel that way about what the Lord sends into our lives-the gifts of our days, our circumstances, of the things that happen to us. They come to us all wrapped in mystery. Some look ugly and forbidding and terrifying. They're not the kind of thing we'd like to have in our lives at all, and we're certainly not eager to open them, even when our faith reminds us that God is in charge. Well, today I can state with full confidence that those days of my life, that came wrapped in illness, weakness, pain and fear also contained gifts of comfort and love and courage. They contained joys little and large, as well as the more sober but precious lessons that come from suffering. Best of all, every one of those fearful cancer-wrapped days turned out to be full of God-permeated by his presence. And ultimately, they contained the miracle of healing. The gift he most passionately wants to give us is the gift of himself. Whatever the gift life has left on your doorstep, no matter how ugly the package, I invite you to open it in the confidence God is in it. He will not leave you desolate. One way or another, if you open your arms to him, he will use the gift of your days to fold you closer to his heart and make you truly his."
I don't know what God has brought to your doorstep but I encourage you no matter how ugly the package consider it as a gift from God. How we see our circumstances I believe will determine the amount of joy we embrace life with.
James 1:17 says, "Every good and perfect gift is from above, coming down from the Father of the heavenly lights, who does not change like shifting shadows."
My prayer is that God will use this gift of cancer in my life to change not just me and my family but all of you that are reading this. Thank you for joining me as I discovery the mystery of this package my Heavenly Father has sent me.

I want to thank all of you who have left encouraging messages and verses for me and my family. It is comforting to know that so many people are praying for us.
This morning in my devotions I was reading about David's trials as he fled from Saul who was trying to kill him. It was talking about the weariness of the battle. An example was given of Florence Chadwick who in 1952 attempted to swim between Catalina Island and California. She was swimming in fog and after 15 miles just couldn't go on. They pulled her from the water and when the fogged cleared she saw she was less than half a mile from the shore!
I was thinking of how far the end might be in sight as I battle this cancer. It could be months, years or probably the rest of my life. That thought alone was overwhelming! And then I continued reading Max Lucado's book and he says, "Take a long look at the shore that awaits you. Don't be fooled by the fog of the slump. The finish may be only strokes away. God may be, at this moment, lifting his hand to signal Gabriel to grab the trumpet. Angels may be assembling, saints gathering, demons trembling. Stay at it! Stay in the water. Stay in the race. Stay in the fight. Give grace, one more time. Be generous, one more time. Teach one more class, encourage one more soul, swim one more stroke."
I am choosing to take one day at a time. I will trust God to give me strength to face the challenges of this day. I know His mercies are new every morning. I won't worry about tomorrow because I know today has enough troubles of its own. I changed I Samuel 30:6 and inserted my name. "Linn found strength in the Lord her God."
No matter what you are going through or how long you have been there, continue to focus your eyes on God, not your giant. Trust Him for the strength to face the day. Thank Him for the gift of the trial He has allowed to come into your life. He is using it for amazing things that will change who you are. Today I am choosing to consider cancer as a gift, not a curse. What Satan has meant for evil, I know God has meant for good. How do you see the giants in your life?
If you are going through something difficult right now I encourage you to read Psalm 91. David talks about the security of the one who trusts in the Lord.

"Trust in the Lord with all your heart, lean not on your own understanding. In all your ways acknowledge Him and He will direct your paths." Proverbs 3:5-6

On Monday (thanks to the prayers of so many) I was able to get through the MRI needle biopsy without any problems. I also did a PET Scan and a CT scan to check for cancer throughout my body. The results of the bone scan came back negative. The biopsy was also benign! YEAH!

I was scheduled for surgery yesterday but I just didn't have a peace about the lymph node dissection they want to do. There are some possible serious lifetime consequences of that surgery. I also need all my lymph nodes if I am going to fight this with my own immune system. I have always told people that if you don't feel a peace about something, don't proceed until you do. All day Monday I was struggling with this decision. When I got home, in the mail was a video someone sent me (that I have only met over the phone) by a Christian surgeon who had breast cancer. She talked about her journey through cancer. It confirmed my feelings and gave me the peace to call my doctor and tell her I need to postpone the surgery.
She said that once the cancer is detected it has probably been there 5-10 years and not to feel a rush to make decision until you have all the information!

I took the day off yesterday to read and research. Please pray that God will give Sewell and I the answer we need.

His dad did have his tracheostomy and got through that fine. It will enable the doctors to take the tubes out that have been in his mouth for 2 weeks.

"Most blessed is the man who believes in, trust in and relies on the Lord, and whose hope and confidence the Lord is. For he shall be like a tree, planted by the waters, that spreads out its roots by the river and shall not see and fear when heat comes, but his leaf shall be green; he shall not be anxious and careful in the year of drought, nor shall he cease from yielding fruit." Jeremiah 17:7-8

My encouragement to you today is when you need to hear God's voice trust that He will speak to you. He is your dad and longs to guide and direct your paths. He knows the path you should take. Thank Him for his guidance and direction. continue to rely on Him. Don't be anxious. He knows you need help and He is right there to give it.

This past week was full of doctor's appointments. On Monday I had an MRI. I have had one on my back and I just closed my eyes so I didn't think of how close the tube was to my face. This time I was face down. I had only been in the tube for about 30 seconds when I felt this wave of nausea and panic sweep over me. I thought about pushing the panic button to get out but I knew they would need to sedate me and put me back in and that would take even longer. I desperately began to pray for God to comfort me, to stop the fear and to give me peace. I sang every worship song I knew for the next 25 minutes. The Bible says He inhabits the praises of His people. If you want to bring God into your circumstances begin to praise Him. Remind yourself that there is nothing,no circumstance, no trouble, no testing that can ever touch you until, first of all, it has come past God and past Christ, right through to you. If it has come that far, it has come with great purpose. (Alan Redpath).
The rest of the week contained 5 more appointments. By Thursday the reality of the journey was beginning to hit me. I was sitting in the waiting room of my radiologist and I thought I was going to fall apart. I always carry something encouraging to read and today it was Stories of Hope by David Jeremiah. These are some of the words that jumped off the pages. "My grace is sufficient for you, for my strength is made perfect in weakness." 2 Corinthians 12:9
"Life's ups and downs are only yard markers on the playing field of circumstances. Joy and sadness are only temporary conditions, but praise and thanksgiving are permanent expressions."
I began to thank God for His presence in my circumstance and for His comfort. As I sat there I felt God just bathe my troubled and anxious heart with His peace
I was called in to see my doctor. He was a very sweet man named Dr. Lin. He began to look at my paper work and asked if I was Protestant or Catholic because there was a place to put your religious affiliation. I told him I was a Christian. He asked if I wanted him to pray for me. I said yes. He held my hand and prayed the most comforting prayer I could have received. For the next 30 minutes we talked about all my treatment options and what is ahead. He told me He has seen many, many miracles while treating his patients. He encouraged me to let God use it for His glory. I know God sent this man to care for me during my 7 weeks of radiation. I was overwhelmed by my Father's love for me.
He will overwhelm you with His love in your journey through life. Run to His arms and you will find rest for your soul as you face the giants of life.

Facing Your Giant

Dear Family and Friends,

On August 29th I was diagnosed with breast cancer. A lump had been found by my doctor at a yearly physical exam. I was sent for a mammogram and sonogram with a needle biopsy. I received the call at work that there was cancer in my right breast and also my lymph node. Since then I have had an MRI, echocardiogram, EKG, and bone scan. On Monday I will have a PET scan which looks at the sugar levels in the cells throughout the body. Cancer feeds on sugar so this is another marker to determine if cancer is anywhere else in the body.

You can imagine that our heads and hearts were reeling. But in the midst of all of this God has given me such a peace. I have read the scripture about peace that passes understanding and how it can guard our hearts and minds. I am truly experiencing this now.

Max Lucado has written a book called "Facing Your Giants" which is where I took the title of my journey from. It is the story of David and Goliath. Lucado says, "David majors in God. He sees the giant mind you; he just sees God more." David didn't shrink back from Goliath. The Bible says he ran to meet the giant. I am choosing to rush this giant of cancer with a God saturated soul.

This cancer will only take what I allow it to take. I refuse to surrender my trust in God. He has always proved faithful to me in the past. He will not change His love and care for me. I refuse to let it destroy my joy. I know the joy of the Lord is my strength. Each day I am thanking Him for His grace to face the day. I am blessing Him for the friends and family that are supporting me. I am clinging to His promises of hope and healing in His word. I refuse to let cancer rob me of the minstry of helping and encouraging others. I will continue to be used by God to proclaim His goodness during this time. I refuse to surrender my health to cancer. I will fight it with good nutrition, rest, love, faith and lots of prayer.

This past Monday the MRI picked up another spot in the same breast they think may be cancerous. I have an MRI guided needle biopsy on Monday. My surgery is tentatively scheduled for Wednesday. I don't know at this time if it will be a lumpectomy or mastectomy. It will depend on what they find on Monday.

We have some specific prayer requests:
Pray for wisdom as we seek God for His pathway of healing for my body.
For the doctors as they give me wise counsel.
Confirmation about the nutrition program I am on.
Sewell's father is in the hospital with a collapsed lung. He has been in ICU for over a week.

What giant are you facing today? It may be the giant of fear, depression, hopelessness or sin. I encourage you to build your faith so you may rush your giant. If you focus on your giant you will stumble. If you focus on God your giant will tumble. He is able to do above and beyond what you can think or imagine. Turn your heart fully to Him and entrust your life to Him. Lift your eyes to God and become a giant slayer.