Tomorrow is Christmas! Do you find it hard not to get caught up in the frenzy of what this holiday has become? Shopping, shopping, shopping! I too have felt the pressure to make this holiday what I know it is not. Today I paused and just sat and reflected. A passage from Luke guided my thoughts. Chapter 2 is the story of the birth of Jesus. Verses 16-20 say, "So they hurried off and found Mary and Joseph, and the baby, who was lying in the manger. When they had seen him, they spread the word concerning what had been told them about this child, and all who heard it were amazed at what the shepherds said to them. But Mary treasured up all these things and pondered them in her heart. The shepherds returned, glorifying and praising God for all the things they had heard and seen, which were just as they had been told."
The shepherds left their flocks to go to Bethlehem to behold the baby Jesus. The sight of this baby compelled them to spread the word about his birth. They weren't rushing to the mall to buy gifts, they were rushing to tell others about the greatest gift that would ever be given.
Mary's response was to treasure up all these things and ponder them in her heart. This baby was a gift from heaven not only to Mary, but to the world. Her only response was to ponder upon the reality of what she had been given and then to treasure these thoughts in her heart.
As you reflect on this past year, what are you pondering on and treasuring in your heart? Many of you have suffered at the hands of the economy. Some of you have dealt with death and sickness! Others of you may have felt the pain of a broken heart or relationships that have been strained. Yet in all of this there is a gift. The gift of God's constant love and care for you. His presence is greater than any present you will unwrap this year.
I encourage you to give God the gift of your presence this season as you ponder the good He has done in your life this past year. Treasure them in your heart and then, like the shepherds, glorify and praise God for all these things! Never forget the gift you unwrap each and every day, which is the gift of His son so you can have life, and have it abundantly!
This is the true meaning of Christmas!
Thursday, December 24, 2009
Wednesday, December 2, 2009
In the midst of affliction
These are some excerpts from my devotions lately.
"Suffering is a wonderful fertilizer for the roots of character. The great objective of this life is character, for it is the only thing we can carry with us into eternity. And gaining as much of the highest character possible is the purpose of our trials."
"We often pray to be delivered from afflictions, and even trust God that we will be. But we do not pray for Him to make us what we should be while in the midst of the afflictions. Nor do we pray that we would be able to live within them, for however long they may last, in the complete awareness that we are held and sheltered by the Lord and can therefore continue within them without suffering any harm."
Suffering ourselves or watching others suffer can be at times unbearable. The weight of suffering can crush the soul. No man can bear up under suffering. Christ is the only one able to shoulder the intense pain of our suffering. Casting our cares upon him is crucial if we are to stand under the weight of our sorrow.
Saturday will be the memorial service for Danica, a friend who died at the young age of 31, leaving behind a sweet husband and 2 darling children, ages 3 and 9. God has led our family to bear the burden of grief with this family. Deep sorrow has washed over my heart time and time again as I have reflected on what a life without mom and wife will mean in the days and years to come for this family.
Last week a dear friend and fellow colleague of mine had to undergo surgery to remove part of her colon and some tumors that were found. Terri has battled cancer for these past 7 years. I have prayed with her, walked alongside her the entire journey and asked God to heal her. She is Taryn's senior English teacher and one of the most loved teachers on campus.
Beth is our librarian and another good friend of mine for these past 8 years. She was diagnosed with colon cancer a few years ago and was in remission. She is now battling cancer again. Beth is one of the sweetest people I know. She is suffering intensely and yet every time I speak with her she is concerned about my health!
And then there is Brittany, a former student of mine who just turned 14. She has had several surgeries to remove a brain tumor and is in and out of the hospital now as the doctors are trying different treatments. The suffering this young girl has endured is more than most adults could bear.
I sit here writing in wonderful health with my cancer in full remission, wondering, "Why not me?' How have I managed to free myself from the clutches of this insidious disease while others have not? My gratefulness to my Heavenly father is indescribable. I will never have the answer this side of heaven but I know what I must do. With the health and strength He has given me, I must let Him use my life every day to encourage those who are suffering around me. The strength He gives me is not meant to be kept, but given away. His word must fill my life so I can use it to help anchor the soul of those who are being tossed by the storm. My peace will be found in silence and solitude. So will yours.
Terri, Beth, and Brittany, you are my inspiration. Please know there is not one day that I do not pray for you, think of you and hurt deeply as I watch you suffer. I have wept many, many days as God has gripped my heart with a powerful love for each of you. Psalm 39:12 says, "Hear my prayer, O Lord, listen to my cry for help; be not deaf to my weeping." Psalm 40:1 says, "I waited patiently for the Lord; he turned to me and heard my cry."
I know you are holding on with all your strength to the hand of our Father. Don't let go! I love you!
"Suffering is a wonderful fertilizer for the roots of character. The great objective of this life is character, for it is the only thing we can carry with us into eternity. And gaining as much of the highest character possible is the purpose of our trials."
"We often pray to be delivered from afflictions, and even trust God that we will be. But we do not pray for Him to make us what we should be while in the midst of the afflictions. Nor do we pray that we would be able to live within them, for however long they may last, in the complete awareness that we are held and sheltered by the Lord and can therefore continue within them without suffering any harm."
Suffering ourselves or watching others suffer can be at times unbearable. The weight of suffering can crush the soul. No man can bear up under suffering. Christ is the only one able to shoulder the intense pain of our suffering. Casting our cares upon him is crucial if we are to stand under the weight of our sorrow.
Saturday will be the memorial service for Danica, a friend who died at the young age of 31, leaving behind a sweet husband and 2 darling children, ages 3 and 9. God has led our family to bear the burden of grief with this family. Deep sorrow has washed over my heart time and time again as I have reflected on what a life without mom and wife will mean in the days and years to come for this family.
Last week a dear friend and fellow colleague of mine had to undergo surgery to remove part of her colon and some tumors that were found. Terri has battled cancer for these past 7 years. I have prayed with her, walked alongside her the entire journey and asked God to heal her. She is Taryn's senior English teacher and one of the most loved teachers on campus.
Beth is our librarian and another good friend of mine for these past 8 years. She was diagnosed with colon cancer a few years ago and was in remission. She is now battling cancer again. Beth is one of the sweetest people I know. She is suffering intensely and yet every time I speak with her she is concerned about my health!
And then there is Brittany, a former student of mine who just turned 14. She has had several surgeries to remove a brain tumor and is in and out of the hospital now as the doctors are trying different treatments. The suffering this young girl has endured is more than most adults could bear.
I sit here writing in wonderful health with my cancer in full remission, wondering, "Why not me?' How have I managed to free myself from the clutches of this insidious disease while others have not? My gratefulness to my Heavenly father is indescribable. I will never have the answer this side of heaven but I know what I must do. With the health and strength He has given me, I must let Him use my life every day to encourage those who are suffering around me. The strength He gives me is not meant to be kept, but given away. His word must fill my life so I can use it to help anchor the soul of those who are being tossed by the storm. My peace will be found in silence and solitude. So will yours.
Terri, Beth, and Brittany, you are my inspiration. Please know there is not one day that I do not pray for you, think of you and hurt deeply as I watch you suffer. I have wept many, many days as God has gripped my heart with a powerful love for each of you. Psalm 39:12 says, "Hear my prayer, O Lord, listen to my cry for help; be not deaf to my weeping." Psalm 40:1 says, "I waited patiently for the Lord; he turned to me and heard my cry."
I know you are holding on with all your strength to the hand of our Father. Don't let go! I love you!
Friday, October 30, 2009
Resting and recovering
On Tuesday I had a two hernias in my groin surgically repaired. My doctor did not know before surgery if she would be able to use an old C-section scar but when I woke up I discovered that is exactly what she did. I was thrilled because it will probably mean a quicker recovery time with only one incision and none in my groin. I was in surgery for 2 hours and then home about 3 hours later. The doctor will have the mass she removed biopsied for cancer but she told Sewell she did not think it was cancer. I was excited to hear that but I will be even more relieved once I get the lab results. I was a little nauseous the first day but since then I have only had to take 2 Ibuprofen. I must have a high tolerance for pain or I am healing very quickly. Probably a combination of both. The hardest part is just "resting and relaxing" as my dad always says. I am more of a doer than a sitter. I know I inherited that trait. I am getting all my "sitting" projects done and even watching a few movies and doing some reading.
These past few days I have read some passages from my devotions I want to share with you. L.B. Cowman says, "There is another kind of patience that I believe is harder to obtain-the patience that runs. Lying down during a time of grief, or being quiet after a financial setback, certainly implies great strength, but I know of something that suggests even greater strength-the power to continue working after a set-back, the power to still run with a heavy heart, and the power to perform your daily tasks with deep sorrow in your spirit. This is a Christlike thing. Many of us could tearlessly deal with our grief if only we were allowed to do so in private. Yet what is so difficult is that most of us are called to exercise our patience not in bed but in the open street, for all to see. We are called upon to bury our sorrows not in restful inactivity but in active service-in our workplace, while shopping, and during social events-contributing to other people's joy. No other way of burying our sorrow is as difficult as this, for it is truly what is meant by running "with patience." Hebrews 12:1
During these past 2 years I wish I could have taken a "timeout" from life to grieve and process but time continued to march on with no regard for the state of my heart. Time did not stop when I was diagnosed with cancer, when my father-in-love died, or when my mother died. Time did not stop for additional mammograms, sonograms and biopsies to check once again for cancer.
Jesus knew what it was like to bear a mighty grief that was not shared or spoken. He knew what was ahead for him and yet he continued to do the work his Father had called him to do. He brought joy to the multitudes in the midst of his own silent suffering.
I believe there are those of you who are bearing a great amount of suffering right now. As you wait on Him each day, He will give you the strength and power to perform your daily tasks. His mercies are new every morning. Great is His faithfulness. He wants us to come to Him each and every day so He can fill us with himself. His presence will enable us to face whatever the day may hold.
One of the greatest lessons I have learned these past few years is how to pause long enough from my "Martha" tendencies to become a "Mary". Mary was the one who sat as Jesus feet while Martha bustled around cleaning the house and getting dinner ready. When you read this story in Luke 10:38-41 you will see that Jesus says Martha is worried and upset about many things and distracted with all her preparations. He tells Martha that Mary has CHOSEN the better part.
Each day you and I have a choice. We can stop all our busyness and come sit at Jesus' feet, or we can work our way through the day, never pausing to be filled and refreshed with His presence. It is a choice. This is the most critical choice you and I will make each day. What we choose will shape who we are. Do you take time to read your bible and pray before facing your day? Do you give the sorrows and burdens you carry to Him before leaving your house? Does His peace guard your heart and your mind? There will never be enough time to meet with God. The tyranny of the urgent will always try to dictate the use of your time. Be a Mary. CHOOSE WHAT IS BETTER. Then and only then will you be able to run with endurance the race that is set out for you, fixing your eyes on Jesus, the author and perfecter of your faith. Hebrews 12:1-2.
May discipline, quietness, devotion and prayer be what you are known for. Let others draw strength from you as you draw strength from your heavenly Father.
These past few days I have read some passages from my devotions I want to share with you. L.B. Cowman says, "There is another kind of patience that I believe is harder to obtain-the patience that runs. Lying down during a time of grief, or being quiet after a financial setback, certainly implies great strength, but I know of something that suggests even greater strength-the power to continue working after a set-back, the power to still run with a heavy heart, and the power to perform your daily tasks with deep sorrow in your spirit. This is a Christlike thing. Many of us could tearlessly deal with our grief if only we were allowed to do so in private. Yet what is so difficult is that most of us are called to exercise our patience not in bed but in the open street, for all to see. We are called upon to bury our sorrows not in restful inactivity but in active service-in our workplace, while shopping, and during social events-contributing to other people's joy. No other way of burying our sorrow is as difficult as this, for it is truly what is meant by running "with patience." Hebrews 12:1
During these past 2 years I wish I could have taken a "timeout" from life to grieve and process but time continued to march on with no regard for the state of my heart. Time did not stop when I was diagnosed with cancer, when my father-in-love died, or when my mother died. Time did not stop for additional mammograms, sonograms and biopsies to check once again for cancer.
Jesus knew what it was like to bear a mighty grief that was not shared or spoken. He knew what was ahead for him and yet he continued to do the work his Father had called him to do. He brought joy to the multitudes in the midst of his own silent suffering.
I believe there are those of you who are bearing a great amount of suffering right now. As you wait on Him each day, He will give you the strength and power to perform your daily tasks. His mercies are new every morning. Great is His faithfulness. He wants us to come to Him each and every day so He can fill us with himself. His presence will enable us to face whatever the day may hold.
One of the greatest lessons I have learned these past few years is how to pause long enough from my "Martha" tendencies to become a "Mary". Mary was the one who sat as Jesus feet while Martha bustled around cleaning the house and getting dinner ready. When you read this story in Luke 10:38-41 you will see that Jesus says Martha is worried and upset about many things and distracted with all her preparations. He tells Martha that Mary has CHOSEN the better part.
Each day you and I have a choice. We can stop all our busyness and come sit at Jesus' feet, or we can work our way through the day, never pausing to be filled and refreshed with His presence. It is a choice. This is the most critical choice you and I will make each day. What we choose will shape who we are. Do you take time to read your bible and pray before facing your day? Do you give the sorrows and burdens you carry to Him before leaving your house? Does His peace guard your heart and your mind? There will never be enough time to meet with God. The tyranny of the urgent will always try to dictate the use of your time. Be a Mary. CHOOSE WHAT IS BETTER. Then and only then will you be able to run with endurance the race that is set out for you, fixing your eyes on Jesus, the author and perfecter of your faith. Hebrews 12:1-2.
May discipline, quietness, devotion and prayer be what you are known for. Let others draw strength from you as you draw strength from your heavenly Father.
Saturday, October 10, 2009
God's faithfulness
In my Streams in the Desert devotions today I read this, "...all the suffering is designed to make me a vessel suitable for His use. And may I remember that His Calvary blossomed into abundant fruitfulness, and so will mine."
I have watched God bring fruit into my life after a season of suffering. I have been able to share my journey with so many people and encourage them to face their own giants with a God saturated soul. I've been able to provide nutritional information I have learned to help others in their fight against cancer. I have also prayed for and with so many that are in the thick of the battle as they look for strength to continue the uphill struggle.
If you are in the midst of a battle with your health, finances, relationships or any other area of life, continue to say,"Not my will but thine be done." Entrust all that you are and everything you have to his Lordship. Let God work in you his purposes through your suffering. Pray and praise your way through the battle. God knows what He is doing even if everything appears to be spinning out of control. Gather an army of friends around you who will be there to help you when the fatigue of the battle seeps into your heart and mind. Let God's word fill you with hope and comfort. It is your greatest weapon in the war.
This fall has brought a season of joy in my life and I wanted to share some of it with you.
I am 2 months into my new job and absolutely loving it. I am able to use all my gifts and abilities every day. I get to organize, create, plan, and inspire. I believe God has used me on my campus to bring about some positive change. If I had realized what good things God had in store for me when I lost my Health classes last year I would have clapped and said HOORAY! Not only do I work in a great environment, I am also working about 20 hours less each week because I am not grading papers or making lesson plans. This has freed up my life to be able to focus on my family, my health and my home life.
There have also been some other positive things happening in our family. Taryn started her senior year and was selected "Best to bring home to mom and dad" as a senior standout. She was also selected to homecoming court and scored high enough on her PSAT test to be honored as a Commended National Merit Scholar which basically means she scored in the top 5% of the 1.5 million students in the United States who took the test as Juniors. She also was given the lead role in the school's fall drama production. She has been a very hard worker and her efforts are paying off! When God showers blessings down on your children it is very fun to watch.
Cori has been attending classes at Cuyamaca and preparing to leave in March to begin her one year commitment to serve on staff with Metro ministries in New York. She has also been invited to join Metro on a 10 day mission trip to assist the Metro branch that is in Africa. She is holding down 2 jobs and serving as a youth leader on Friday nights with our church.
Ashley moves back home this weekend in an attempt to save money. She wants to join an organization that provides a mobile hair school in Africa to help women learn a trade and improve their existing cosmetology skills. We have no idea how long she will be here but it will be nice to have her home, especially since she hasn't lived with us for 6 years.
Chalese is working at a coffee shop and waiting to be called to substitute teaching. Full time teaching jobs are scarce at this time. She recently moved into a new house that she shares with a friend. She is enjoying the additional space she now has. God is using her to minister to people on a daily basis as she has a soft heart and good shoulder to cry on.
Sewell is working hard as an Assistant Principal at Monte Vista and is well liked by the staff. He has creative ideas and is a conscientious worker. His other full time job is trying to keep all of our investment properties from being foreclosed. It has taken every free moment he has. Hopefully we will find some relief and help from the Mortgage companies.
I am waiting for the results of a CT scan I took on Wednesday. It appears that I have 2 hernias in my groin (one on each side) that will have to be surgically repaired. My doctor told me it will be a very painful surgery, which I am not looking forward to. I have had one of the hernias for about 2 years and the other since last spring. I am anxious to get them repaired so I can start training for my track season. On the positive side, I am not facing another cancer surgery.
This is National Breast Cancer awareness month and I look for every opportunity to share my healing story with anyone who will listen. Every time I walk into a store and see those pink ribbons I am grateful to my heavenly Father that I am alive to celebrate my healing! This month I will have another birthday. Since being diagnosed with cancer, these milestones are very important to me. Sewell and I both have the same birthday month. Together we will be 108. One of us is doing pretty good for our age. Can you guess which one? Ha Ha!
I pray this blog today has encouraged you and maybe given you a little hope. Have a wonderful day being loved by the King.
Linn
I have watched God bring fruit into my life after a season of suffering. I have been able to share my journey with so many people and encourage them to face their own giants with a God saturated soul. I've been able to provide nutritional information I have learned to help others in their fight against cancer. I have also prayed for and with so many that are in the thick of the battle as they look for strength to continue the uphill struggle.
If you are in the midst of a battle with your health, finances, relationships or any other area of life, continue to say,"Not my will but thine be done." Entrust all that you are and everything you have to his Lordship. Let God work in you his purposes through your suffering. Pray and praise your way through the battle. God knows what He is doing even if everything appears to be spinning out of control. Gather an army of friends around you who will be there to help you when the fatigue of the battle seeps into your heart and mind. Let God's word fill you with hope and comfort. It is your greatest weapon in the war.
This fall has brought a season of joy in my life and I wanted to share some of it with you.
I am 2 months into my new job and absolutely loving it. I am able to use all my gifts and abilities every day. I get to organize, create, plan, and inspire. I believe God has used me on my campus to bring about some positive change. If I had realized what good things God had in store for me when I lost my Health classes last year I would have clapped and said HOORAY! Not only do I work in a great environment, I am also working about 20 hours less each week because I am not grading papers or making lesson plans. This has freed up my life to be able to focus on my family, my health and my home life.
There have also been some other positive things happening in our family. Taryn started her senior year and was selected "Best to bring home to mom and dad" as a senior standout. She was also selected to homecoming court and scored high enough on her PSAT test to be honored as a Commended National Merit Scholar which basically means she scored in the top 5% of the 1.5 million students in the United States who took the test as Juniors. She also was given the lead role in the school's fall drama production. She has been a very hard worker and her efforts are paying off! When God showers blessings down on your children it is very fun to watch.
Cori has been attending classes at Cuyamaca and preparing to leave in March to begin her one year commitment to serve on staff with Metro ministries in New York. She has also been invited to join Metro on a 10 day mission trip to assist the Metro branch that is in Africa. She is holding down 2 jobs and serving as a youth leader on Friday nights with our church.
Ashley moves back home this weekend in an attempt to save money. She wants to join an organization that provides a mobile hair school in Africa to help women learn a trade and improve their existing cosmetology skills. We have no idea how long she will be here but it will be nice to have her home, especially since she hasn't lived with us for 6 years.
Chalese is working at a coffee shop and waiting to be called to substitute teaching. Full time teaching jobs are scarce at this time. She recently moved into a new house that she shares with a friend. She is enjoying the additional space she now has. God is using her to minister to people on a daily basis as she has a soft heart and good shoulder to cry on.
Sewell is working hard as an Assistant Principal at Monte Vista and is well liked by the staff. He has creative ideas and is a conscientious worker. His other full time job is trying to keep all of our investment properties from being foreclosed. It has taken every free moment he has. Hopefully we will find some relief and help from the Mortgage companies.
I am waiting for the results of a CT scan I took on Wednesday. It appears that I have 2 hernias in my groin (one on each side) that will have to be surgically repaired. My doctor told me it will be a very painful surgery, which I am not looking forward to. I have had one of the hernias for about 2 years and the other since last spring. I am anxious to get them repaired so I can start training for my track season. On the positive side, I am not facing another cancer surgery.
This is National Breast Cancer awareness month and I look for every opportunity to share my healing story with anyone who will listen. Every time I walk into a store and see those pink ribbons I am grateful to my heavenly Father that I am alive to celebrate my healing! This month I will have another birthday. Since being diagnosed with cancer, these milestones are very important to me. Sewell and I both have the same birthday month. Together we will be 108. One of us is doing pretty good for our age. Can you guess which one? Ha Ha!
I pray this blog today has encouraged you and maybe given you a little hope. Have a wonderful day being loved by the King.
Linn
Saturday, August 29, 2009
Stormy Seas to Calm Waters
Two years ago when I woke up I had no idea that this would be the date that would forever change my life! My day was planned in my mind-teaching, doing some grading while I waited for Taryn to finish her cross country practice and then home to fix dinner and walk Sukie. But God interrupted my life with a phone call which officially brought the stormy sea of cancer into my life. In one instant my calm seas exploded into the most violent storm I had ever been in. I found myself desperately trying to anchor myself to something that would keep me alive. I found it in God's word and His love for me. The devotional I have camped in is Streams in the Desert by L.B. Cowman. This is one of the first verses I read, "Others went out to sea in ships; they were merchants on the mighty waters. They saw the works of the Lord, his wonderful deeds in the deep. (Psalm 107:23-26)
Cowman goes on to say, "The person who has not learned that every wind that blows can be used to guide us toward heaven has certainly not mastered the art of sailing and is nothing but an apprentice. In fact, the only thing that helps no one is a dead calm. Every wind, whether from the north, south, east, or west, may help us toward that blessed port. So seek only this:to stay well out to sea-and then have no fear of stormy winds."
Today I am grateful for the love and comfort my heavenly Father has poured into my life these past two years. I am so excited to be enjoying excellent health! For those of you who have prayed for me, juiced carrots for me, sent encouraging notes and verses, cried with me and walked with me on this difficult road-I LOVE AND APPRECIATE YOU! Please don't stop praying! Eating a plant based diet is a very lonely road most of the time. Pray God will give me the time and energy to plan menu's and learn to cook new things and the stamina to stay diligent with all of it. There are days I just want to grab a quart of ice cream and sit in front of the T.V. and eat sugar until I'm sick! So far I haven't done that but it's probably only because there are people who are praying, not because I have great self discipline! I am looking forward to seeing how God is going to bring himself glory through my life this next year. Stay tuned to be part of it!
Cowman goes on to say, "The person who has not learned that every wind that blows can be used to guide us toward heaven has certainly not mastered the art of sailing and is nothing but an apprentice. In fact, the only thing that helps no one is a dead calm. Every wind, whether from the north, south, east, or west, may help us toward that blessed port. So seek only this:to stay well out to sea-and then have no fear of stormy winds."
Today I am grateful for the love and comfort my heavenly Father has poured into my life these past two years. I am so excited to be enjoying excellent health! For those of you who have prayed for me, juiced carrots for me, sent encouraging notes and verses, cried with me and walked with me on this difficult road-I LOVE AND APPRECIATE YOU! Please don't stop praying! Eating a plant based diet is a very lonely road most of the time. Pray God will give me the time and energy to plan menu's and learn to cook new things and the stamina to stay diligent with all of it. There are days I just want to grab a quart of ice cream and sit in front of the T.V. and eat sugar until I'm sick! So far I haven't done that but it's probably only because there are people who are praying, not because I have great self discipline! I am looking forward to seeing how God is going to bring himself glory through my life this next year. Stay tuned to be part of it!
Friday, August 14, 2009
Gifts from Above
So much has happened since I last wrote! But before I get to that I want to share something from my Streams in the Desert book by L.B. Cowman. Today's devotion came from John 19:11 where Jesus says to Pilate, "You would have no power over me if it were not given to you from above." Cowman goes on to say,"Nothing that is not part of God's will is allowed to come into the life of someone who trusts and obeys Him. This truth should be enough to make our life one of ceaseless thanksgiving and joy, because God's will is the most hopeful, pleasant, and glorious thing in the world. It is the continuous working of His omnipotent power for our benefit, with nothing to prevent it, if we remain surrendered and believing. We live fascinating lives if we are living in the center of God's will. All the attacks that Satan hurls at us through the sins of others are not only powerless to harm us but are transformed into blessings along the way."
Today I begin my new job! 9 days ago I interviewed for an administrative postion with Foothills High School which is the school run by the church I attend. This summer I took classes and then passed a national test which credentials me as an administrator! I was offered the Assistant Principal position at Foothills. The students are on campus 3 days a week and then homeschool the other two. I will work 4 days a week. God did some amazing things in order for me to get this job! I asked my former superintendent if he would allow me to have my tuition benefits for Taryn (she would be free this year) even if I left. He said YES! I still had a $300 registration fee to pay. When I went to pick up my final check they said they owed me $301.68 for this years contract since I did not give notice until this past Monday! God is so good. One of the greatest joys in all of this is that the other P.E. teacher I was sharing a contract with for this year will get her full time contract back. I was so happy because she and I have worked together for the past 5 years. Last year her 13 year old daughter was diagnosed with a brain tumor. Brittany was one of my students in Bible and I dearly love her. She has had 2 surgeries and is facing more treatment. Please pray for God's complete healing for her.
I saw my oncologist yesterday and she believes the area they saw in the sonogram that wasn't there before is probably from the hematoma dissolving! They want to do another sonogram in 6 months to look at it again. Pray it will continue to shrink! This is the first time in 2 years that I feel like all of this may finally be behind me! A great weight is lifting from my shoulders. Now I just need to make some vegan menus and get some variety in my daily diet. Cooking is not one of my favorite things to do!
I am rejoicing in what God has done in my life these last 2 years. I have truly watched the continuous working of His omnipotent power for my benefit as I have remained surrendered and believing! Now that I am not teaching, one of my goals is to put my web site together in order to help more people who are looking for a natural route to fighting cancer. In addition to that I want to continue to read and become more educated in this area. It seems as if cancer is everywhere! I know God is going to use my experience to help others. I know the faith journey I have been on is not just for my benefit. I am humbled and excited to see what God is going to do in and through me.
I will leave you with this thought from L.B. Cowman, "Isn't it glorious to know that no matter how unjust something may be, even when it seems to have come from Satan himself, by the time it reaches us it is God's will for us and will ultimately work to our good?"
Today I begin my new job! 9 days ago I interviewed for an administrative postion with Foothills High School which is the school run by the church I attend. This summer I took classes and then passed a national test which credentials me as an administrator! I was offered the Assistant Principal position at Foothills. The students are on campus 3 days a week and then homeschool the other two. I will work 4 days a week. God did some amazing things in order for me to get this job! I asked my former superintendent if he would allow me to have my tuition benefits for Taryn (she would be free this year) even if I left. He said YES! I still had a $300 registration fee to pay. When I went to pick up my final check they said they owed me $301.68 for this years contract since I did not give notice until this past Monday! God is so good. One of the greatest joys in all of this is that the other P.E. teacher I was sharing a contract with for this year will get her full time contract back. I was so happy because she and I have worked together for the past 5 years. Last year her 13 year old daughter was diagnosed with a brain tumor. Brittany was one of my students in Bible and I dearly love her. She has had 2 surgeries and is facing more treatment. Please pray for God's complete healing for her.
I saw my oncologist yesterday and she believes the area they saw in the sonogram that wasn't there before is probably from the hematoma dissolving! They want to do another sonogram in 6 months to look at it again. Pray it will continue to shrink! This is the first time in 2 years that I feel like all of this may finally be behind me! A great weight is lifting from my shoulders. Now I just need to make some vegan menus and get some variety in my daily diet. Cooking is not one of my favorite things to do!
I am rejoicing in what God has done in my life these last 2 years. I have truly watched the continuous working of His omnipotent power for my benefit as I have remained surrendered and believing! Now that I am not teaching, one of my goals is to put my web site together in order to help more people who are looking for a natural route to fighting cancer. In addition to that I want to continue to read and become more educated in this area. It seems as if cancer is everywhere! I know God is going to use my experience to help others. I know the faith journey I have been on is not just for my benefit. I am humbled and excited to see what God is going to do in and through me.
I will leave you with this thought from L.B. Cowman, "Isn't it glorious to know that no matter how unjust something may be, even when it seems to have come from Satan himself, by the time it reaches us it is God's will for us and will ultimately work to our good?"
Saturday, August 1, 2009
Peace in Pain
I am reading Max Lucado's book titled For These Tough Times. He says,
"I am more a landlubber than a sailor, but I've puttered around in a bass boat enough to know the secret for finding land in a storm...You don't aim at
another boat. You certainly don't stare at the waves. You set your sights on a object unaffected by the wind-a light on the shore-and go straight toward it. The light is unaffected by the storm.
By seeking God, you do the same. When you set your sights on our God, you focus on the One who can overcome any storm life may bring.
Like Job, you find peace in the pain.
Like Job, you cover your mouth and sit still.
"Be still, and know that I am God: (Psalm 46:10)This verse contains a command with a promise.
The command? Be still. Cover your mouth. Bend your knees.
The promise? You will know that I am God. The vessel of faith journeys on soft waters. Belief rides on the wings of waiting.
In the midst of your daily storms, and in this storm that has swept over our country and even the entire world, make it a point to be still and set your sights on him. Let God be God. Let him bathe you in his glory so that both your breath and your troubles are sucked from your soul. Be still. Be quiet. Be open and willing. Take a moment to be still, and know that he is God."
Yesterday I watched the memorial service for Caleb Koke. Caleb was a young man who was on my team that went to El Salvador 2 summers ago. He fell asleep behind the wheel, drove into a tree and was ushered into the presence of our Lord. It was a very moving service but I was most affected by what his mother Laura said. She talked about the deep peace that she had and the joy of knowing that her son was with Jesus. She expressed her thanks to the thousands of people who had poured out their love to their family. Then she said something that was truly amazing. She said that it hurt her to watch people hurting over the death of Caleb! This is a mother who has chosen to set her sights on God, and to focus on the one who can overcome any storm life may bring.
In his book Lucado talks about the role that Satan plays in our pain. He says, "Perhaps the clearest illustration of how God uses Satan to achieve his purposes is found in the life of Peter. Listen to the warning Jesus gives to him: "Simon, Simon, Satan has asked to test all of you as a farmer sifts his wheat. I have prayed that you will not lose your faith! Help your brothers be stronger when you come back to me." (Luke 22:31-32)
Again, notice who is in control. Even though Satan had a plan, he had to get permission. "All authority in heaven and on earth has been given to me" Jesus explained, and this is proof. (Matthew 28:18) The wolf cannot get to the sheep without the permission of the Shepherd, and the Shepherd will only permit the attack if, in the long term, the pain is worth the gain.
The purpose of this test is to provide a testimony for the church. Jesus was allowing Peter to experience a trial so he could encourage his brothers. Perhaps God is doing the same with you. God knows that the church needs living testimonies of his power. Your difficulty, your disease, your conflict are preparing you to be a voice of encouragement to your brothers."
In the midst of her deep pain, I watched Laura Koke encourage the congregation she and her husband pastor and the friends and family that were present at Caleb's memorial service.
God will use each of us to be a voice to bring Him glory if we look to Him during our trials of pain. I know He has allowed me more opportunities to minister than I have ever had before I got cancer. Cancer has become my megaphone to shout his love to those who are suffering. When you have weathered the storms of life with your faith intact, you will forever be a changed person. Don't waste your sorrows. Look for the good in your pain that gives God glory. Trust that He has not forsaken you and never will.
Please pray for the Koke family as they grieve the home going of their sweet son Caleb. Also continue to pray for the Riley family who will be burying their 25 year old son David on Sunday. Both families are pastoring churches. Both sons fell asleep at the wheel. Both families are desperately clinging to God.
I would also appreciate your prayers. On Tuesday I have my mammogram and sonogram in order to get another clean bill of health. Last time they found something they wanted to biopsy. I went through with the biopsy but I will NEVER do that again. It was painful and traumatic. It turned out to be nothing. I had been given the choice to just watch it but I chose the biopsy. August 29th will be my 2 year milestone of being diagnosed with cancer. I am going to celebrate by hang gliding at Torrey Pines! This summer I was also able to compete in the Masters National Championship Track and Field meet in Oshkosh Wisconsin. This was a milestone for me because I had my surgery on my right side, and the removal of so many of my lymph nodes has opened me up to getting lymphedema at any time in my life. I am not supposed to do heavy lifting on that side but God has healed me, so I lift and throw! My mother had always encouraged me to get back into throwing but I was so busy coaching I never did. She and I made some great memories when we threw together back in 1989. When she died last year, I went to New Mexico and got all her implements and decided to train again! It was my way of finding the good in the pain of my loss. I trained with my sister Sani (who was also a thrower and High School coach) for 6 days before we went to Wisconsin. I got my best throws of the year and ended up placing 3rd in discus, 2nd in shot and 1st in the javelin! It was the highlight of my year! I think Sani and I made my mom smile! Thank you dad for paying our way. You are my favorite father and I am going to keep you! Thanks Sewell for holding down the fort and parenting the girls while I was away. If I get that much yard work done while I am gone, I am planning my next trip now! I love you! Thanks for being by my side as we faced the storm together.
"I am more a landlubber than a sailor, but I've puttered around in a bass boat enough to know the secret for finding land in a storm...You don't aim at
another boat. You certainly don't stare at the waves. You set your sights on a object unaffected by the wind-a light on the shore-and go straight toward it. The light is unaffected by the storm.
By seeking God, you do the same. When you set your sights on our God, you focus on the One who can overcome any storm life may bring.
Like Job, you find peace in the pain.
Like Job, you cover your mouth and sit still.
"Be still, and know that I am God: (Psalm 46:10)This verse contains a command with a promise.
The command? Be still. Cover your mouth. Bend your knees.
The promise? You will know that I am God. The vessel of faith journeys on soft waters. Belief rides on the wings of waiting.
In the midst of your daily storms, and in this storm that has swept over our country and even the entire world, make it a point to be still and set your sights on him. Let God be God. Let him bathe you in his glory so that both your breath and your troubles are sucked from your soul. Be still. Be quiet. Be open and willing. Take a moment to be still, and know that he is God."
Yesterday I watched the memorial service for Caleb Koke. Caleb was a young man who was on my team that went to El Salvador 2 summers ago. He fell asleep behind the wheel, drove into a tree and was ushered into the presence of our Lord. It was a very moving service but I was most affected by what his mother Laura said. She talked about the deep peace that she had and the joy of knowing that her son was with Jesus. She expressed her thanks to the thousands of people who had poured out their love to their family. Then she said something that was truly amazing. She said that it hurt her to watch people hurting over the death of Caleb! This is a mother who has chosen to set her sights on God, and to focus on the one who can overcome any storm life may bring.
In his book Lucado talks about the role that Satan plays in our pain. He says, "Perhaps the clearest illustration of how God uses Satan to achieve his purposes is found in the life of Peter. Listen to the warning Jesus gives to him: "Simon, Simon, Satan has asked to test all of you as a farmer sifts his wheat. I have prayed that you will not lose your faith! Help your brothers be stronger when you come back to me." (Luke 22:31-32)
Again, notice who is in control. Even though Satan had a plan, he had to get permission. "All authority in heaven and on earth has been given to me" Jesus explained, and this is proof. (Matthew 28:18) The wolf cannot get to the sheep without the permission of the Shepherd, and the Shepherd will only permit the attack if, in the long term, the pain is worth the gain.
The purpose of this test is to provide a testimony for the church. Jesus was allowing Peter to experience a trial so he could encourage his brothers. Perhaps God is doing the same with you. God knows that the church needs living testimonies of his power. Your difficulty, your disease, your conflict are preparing you to be a voice of encouragement to your brothers."
In the midst of her deep pain, I watched Laura Koke encourage the congregation she and her husband pastor and the friends and family that were present at Caleb's memorial service.
God will use each of us to be a voice to bring Him glory if we look to Him during our trials of pain. I know He has allowed me more opportunities to minister than I have ever had before I got cancer. Cancer has become my megaphone to shout his love to those who are suffering. When you have weathered the storms of life with your faith intact, you will forever be a changed person. Don't waste your sorrows. Look for the good in your pain that gives God glory. Trust that He has not forsaken you and never will.
Please pray for the Koke family as they grieve the home going of their sweet son Caleb. Also continue to pray for the Riley family who will be burying their 25 year old son David on Sunday. Both families are pastoring churches. Both sons fell asleep at the wheel. Both families are desperately clinging to God.
I would also appreciate your prayers. On Tuesday I have my mammogram and sonogram in order to get another clean bill of health. Last time they found something they wanted to biopsy. I went through with the biopsy but I will NEVER do that again. It was painful and traumatic. It turned out to be nothing. I had been given the choice to just watch it but I chose the biopsy. August 29th will be my 2 year milestone of being diagnosed with cancer. I am going to celebrate by hang gliding at Torrey Pines! This summer I was also able to compete in the Masters National Championship Track and Field meet in Oshkosh Wisconsin. This was a milestone for me because I had my surgery on my right side, and the removal of so many of my lymph nodes has opened me up to getting lymphedema at any time in my life. I am not supposed to do heavy lifting on that side but God has healed me, so I lift and throw! My mother had always encouraged me to get back into throwing but I was so busy coaching I never did. She and I made some great memories when we threw together back in 1989. When she died last year, I went to New Mexico and got all her implements and decided to train again! It was my way of finding the good in the pain of my loss. I trained with my sister Sani (who was also a thrower and High School coach) for 6 days before we went to Wisconsin. I got my best throws of the year and ended up placing 3rd in discus, 2nd in shot and 1st in the javelin! It was the highlight of my year! I think Sani and I made my mom smile! Thank you dad for paying our way. You are my favorite father and I am going to keep you! Thanks Sewell for holding down the fort and parenting the girls while I was away. If I get that much yard work done while I am gone, I am planning my next trip now! I love you! Thanks for being by my side as we faced the storm together.
Monday, July 27, 2009
Seeing God in Pain and Suffering
A young lady lies in a hospital room fighting for her life as a result of injuries sustained in a car accident, a 17 year old who was on my mission team to El Salvador last summer falls asleep at the wheel and is killed on impact when his car hits a tree, the 25 year old brother of one of Cori's friends falls asleep at the wheel yesterday and is killed when his car rolls. I have received all of this news within the last 3 days! Our hearts and minds wrestle to make sense of such tragedy. Young people living their lives for God and suddenly in His presence with no warning and no goodbyes. We search for answers to the why questions and yet none appear. I am convinced the true test of faith is how we respond when Heaven is silent. In my own struggle to answer this question I refer back to the only book in the Bible that is completely devoted to one man's quest to find the answer. Forty two chapters of Job are dedicated to his quest to make sense of the senseless. My study Bible says this about the book of Job, "In summary, the author's pastoral word to the godly sufferer is that his righteousness has such supreme value that God treasures it more than all. And the great adversary knows that if he is to thwart the purposes of God he must assail the righteousness of man. At stake in the suffering of the truly godly is the outcome of the struggle in heaven between the great adversary and God, with the all-encompassing divine purpose in the balance. Thus the suffering of the righteousness has a meaning and value commensurate with the titanic spiritual struggle of the ages."
Verse 22 of Chapter 1 says, "In all this, Job did not sin by charging God with wrongdoing." In chapter 2, verse 9, Job's wife was encouraging him to curse God and die to which Job responded, "You are talking like a foolish woman. Shall we accept good from God, and not trouble?" In all this Job did not sin in what he said. Chapter 23, verse 10 says, "But he knows the way that I take; when he has tested me, I will come forth as gold."
The lessons I have learned from Job concerning pain and suffering are the following:
1) God has an ultimate purpose in it. As the healing begins, look for God's redemptive work in your own life and in the lives of those around you.
2) We have a choice as how we are going to respond to what God allows into our life. We can curse God or trust Him. What comes from our lips will show the world the path we have chosen.
3) God allows the suffering into our lives. The Bible tells us He is a loving, compassionate and merciful God. If we do not feel He is, based on what our emotions tell us from our circumstances, this does not change His character. Our mind desperately wants to match what we feel with who we know God to be.
4) You will never see God as clearly as you do in suffering and pain. In chapter 42 Job says, "I know that you can do all things; no plan of yours can be thwarted. My ears had heard of you but now my eyes have seen you." My commentary says, "Job-and his three friends, and Elihu-had only heard of God, but now Job has seen God with the eyes of faith and spiritual understanding, He can therefore accept God's plan for his life-which includes suffering."
From my own cancer journey, and the suffering I have watched so many of my friends go through, I have come to the conclusion that God does not owe me answers to my why questions. Job has taught me to embrace suffering as well as blessings from God. He has also taught me to speak words of faith and not doubt in the midst of my trials. I do not want to malign God's character with my own mouth. Max Lucado wrote these words about the storms in our lives, "I owe no one anything," God declares in the crescendo of the wind. "Everything under the heaven is mine." Job couldn't argue. God owes no one anything. No explanations. No excuses. No help. God has not debt, no outstanding balance, no favors to return. God owes no man anything. Something tells me that Job would do it all again, if that's what it took to hear God's voice and stand in the Presence. For God gave Job more than Job ever dreamed. God gave Job himself."
I pray you will face your storms with a God saturated soul, trusting Him to calm the seas that rage around you. He will use your storm as a path to come to you. Let him draw near and whisper to your fears and doubts, "Peace, be still."
Verse 22 of Chapter 1 says, "In all this, Job did not sin by charging God with wrongdoing." In chapter 2, verse 9, Job's wife was encouraging him to curse God and die to which Job responded, "You are talking like a foolish woman. Shall we accept good from God, and not trouble?" In all this Job did not sin in what he said. Chapter 23, verse 10 says, "But he knows the way that I take; when he has tested me, I will come forth as gold."
The lessons I have learned from Job concerning pain and suffering are the following:
1) God has an ultimate purpose in it. As the healing begins, look for God's redemptive work in your own life and in the lives of those around you.
2) We have a choice as how we are going to respond to what God allows into our life. We can curse God or trust Him. What comes from our lips will show the world the path we have chosen.
3) God allows the suffering into our lives. The Bible tells us He is a loving, compassionate and merciful God. If we do not feel He is, based on what our emotions tell us from our circumstances, this does not change His character. Our mind desperately wants to match what we feel with who we know God to be.
4) You will never see God as clearly as you do in suffering and pain. In chapter 42 Job says, "I know that you can do all things; no plan of yours can be thwarted. My ears had heard of you but now my eyes have seen you." My commentary says, "Job-and his three friends, and Elihu-had only heard of God, but now Job has seen God with the eyes of faith and spiritual understanding, He can therefore accept God's plan for his life-which includes suffering."
From my own cancer journey, and the suffering I have watched so many of my friends go through, I have come to the conclusion that God does not owe me answers to my why questions. Job has taught me to embrace suffering as well as blessings from God. He has also taught me to speak words of faith and not doubt in the midst of my trials. I do not want to malign God's character with my own mouth. Max Lucado wrote these words about the storms in our lives, "I owe no one anything," God declares in the crescendo of the wind. "Everything under the heaven is mine." Job couldn't argue. God owes no one anything. No explanations. No excuses. No help. God has not debt, no outstanding balance, no favors to return. God owes no man anything. Something tells me that Job would do it all again, if that's what it took to hear God's voice and stand in the Presence. For God gave Job more than Job ever dreamed. God gave Job himself."
I pray you will face your storms with a God saturated soul, trusting Him to calm the seas that rage around you. He will use your storm as a path to come to you. Let him draw near and whisper to your fears and doubts, "Peace, be still."
Thursday, June 4, 2009
Tribute to Norm
Yesterday Norm was welcomed into the arms of Jesus. His year long battle with cancer came to an end. I only knew Norm for a short time but he has enriched my life. Norm is the brother of Maggie Putnam who taught preschool in our district. Before I got cancer, I did not know Maggie. She emailed me and asked if I could send my picture to her so she could put it up in her classroom. Maggie started her students praying faithfully for me. She sent cards to me with the names and fingerprints of each student on them. I can not begin to tell you how the prayers of these little children gave me encouragement and strength. At the end of the year I was able to go to her school and meet those sweet children and thank them for their prayers. When Maggie's brother was diagnosed with cancer this year I decided to have my Bible and Health classes write him letters of encouragement that contained verses for him to ponder. This is his reply to me about those letters.
"I cannot tell you how wonderful it is to read the inspiration these letters give me each day. I truly cherish reading them. I have taken a blue highlighter and marked all the verses in my Bible that they have given me. I am so touched by the knowledge that they are praying for Virginia and me. Thank them again for me. The Lord has given me to special verses-Verses I have known since I was a child but now have the meaning that they were intended for--This is the day the Lord hath made rejoice and be glad in it, and Yea,though I walk through the valley of the shadow of death I will fear no evil, for thou aren't with me, thy rod and thy staff comfort me. I have always been one who worried about everything and really didn't enjoy what the Lord gave me each day. Thanks to our Lord he has changed that and has given me this unique opportunity to draw closer and closer to him day by day. Jesus is truly wonderful! Spiritually, this has to be the most exciting time of my life. The Lord has allowed me to draw so close to him. The verses he has really given me to hold to are the first three verses of Psalms 71. What a wonderful God we have-what great Love. Jesus is wonderful !
Thank all your wonderful students for their sustaining prayers. Please tell them that I can feel the strength of those prayers, and the Lord is with me. "
To God be the Glory,
Norm
Maggie gave me the gift of preschoolers who faithfully prayed for me during my battle with cancer. I in turn tried to give the gift back as I had my students faithfully pray for Norm this entire year. Each time I spoke with Norm on the phone I was so encouraged by his steadfast love and devotion to God even in the midst of great suffering. It was a privilege to go to his home to meet he and his wife Virginia in person. His body was wasting away but his spirit was being renewed day by day. Through his suffering, he gained a relationship with God that could have only been forged through fire.
As I reflected on the news of Norm's homecoming, I pondered the question, "Why me?" Why did Norm die and I didn't? I know I will not have the answer this side of eternity. Because God has left me here, I want to make a difference in every person's life that He brings across my path who is fighting cancer. When we pass through the storm it can be for the benefit of those who are only entering it. Norm did not find the answer to cure his cancer, but He found Jesus, who cured his heart! His renewed faith and love allowed him to say, "The Lord is with me, to God be the Glory!"
Well done Norm, you have been a good and faithful servant. Enter into your glorious rest. Thank you for being a wonderful example to me! I will always remember you!
"I cannot tell you how wonderful it is to read the inspiration these letters give me each day. I truly cherish reading them. I have taken a blue highlighter and marked all the verses in my Bible that they have given me. I am so touched by the knowledge that they are praying for Virginia and me. Thank them again for me. The Lord has given me to special verses-Verses I have known since I was a child but now have the meaning that they were intended for--This is the day the Lord hath made rejoice and be glad in it, and Yea,though I walk through the valley of the shadow of death I will fear no evil, for thou aren't with me, thy rod and thy staff comfort me. I have always been one who worried about everything and really didn't enjoy what the Lord gave me each day. Thanks to our Lord he has changed that and has given me this unique opportunity to draw closer and closer to him day by day. Jesus is truly wonderful! Spiritually, this has to be the most exciting time of my life. The Lord has allowed me to draw so close to him. The verses he has really given me to hold to are the first three verses of Psalms 71. What a wonderful God we have-what great Love. Jesus is wonderful !
Thank all your wonderful students for their sustaining prayers. Please tell them that I can feel the strength of those prayers, and the Lord is with me. "
To God be the Glory,
Norm
Maggie gave me the gift of preschoolers who faithfully prayed for me during my battle with cancer. I in turn tried to give the gift back as I had my students faithfully pray for Norm this entire year. Each time I spoke with Norm on the phone I was so encouraged by his steadfast love and devotion to God even in the midst of great suffering. It was a privilege to go to his home to meet he and his wife Virginia in person. His body was wasting away but his spirit was being renewed day by day. Through his suffering, he gained a relationship with God that could have only been forged through fire.
As I reflected on the news of Norm's homecoming, I pondered the question, "Why me?" Why did Norm die and I didn't? I know I will not have the answer this side of eternity. Because God has left me here, I want to make a difference in every person's life that He brings across my path who is fighting cancer. When we pass through the storm it can be for the benefit of those who are only entering it. Norm did not find the answer to cure his cancer, but He found Jesus, who cured his heart! His renewed faith and love allowed him to say, "The Lord is with me, to God be the Glory!"
Well done Norm, you have been a good and faithful servant. Enter into your glorious rest. Thank you for being a wonderful example to me! I will always remember you!
Thursday, May 28, 2009
Touching Eternity
Today is my last day of teaching for this year! It has been the longest, most exhausting year I have had since I began teaching full time 8 years ago. I was asked to teach 7th and 8th grade girls Bible this year. We are having to make budget cuts due to dropping enrollment next year, so I will only be teaching a 50% contract for P.E. Here is an excerpt from an email I sent our Bible department:
Yesterday our oldest daughter, Chalese, called to tell us she had passed the PACT which is a rigorous part of the teaching credential program at SDSU. One of the requirements was to write an 80 page paper! She also shared that she had finished this semester with a 4.0! I was congratulating her on a job well done.
When I woke up this morning I was reflecting on my year and wondering what I had to show for it besides a ton of very hard work and many, many lost Saturday's. I was comparing what I have to show for my year to what Chalese has to show for hers and I began wondering what was the point of it all.
In class this morning Erica Rottenburg raised her hand and said she had a very big praise to share. About 3 weeks ago she had come up to me and asked if we could write letters to her father’s friend who 2 months ago was given 3 months to live. He is dying from cancer. At that time I was trying to finish up a unit and I didn’t feel like we could take the time to write. We had already written to 12 people this year and I was just weary from all of it. I was going to assign it as homework but something told me not to and to let the girls make the cards in class. We looked up scriptures, wrote the notes of encouragement, decorated the bright cards with cute foam stickers, prayed over them and sent them off.
Today Erica told us that Mr. Rayon read every card (all 4 Bible classes wrote to him) and that on Friday she and her father went to visit him. In the course of the evening Mr. Rayon gave his life to the Lord! I know that God orchestrated my classes to be part of this amazing event! I was able to rejoice with them and encourage them to continue developing their love relationship with God and to let Him use them in great ways. These young 13 and 14 year old girls have seen over and over again this year that God has used them to touch the lives of complete strangers!
The Lord spoke so clearly today to me that this year was about touching eternity! God has been in each and every class I have taught. He has seen the impact I have had even if I haven't. I believe when we get to heaven we will see our time here as being a part of the puzzle of someone else’s life.
No matter what you are doing today, I pray you will touch eternity. Your kindness, counsel, and words of affirmation can do miracles beyond what you can imagine. May the prayer of your heart today be, "Here I am Lord, use me!" Don't wait until you feel prepared, qualified and trained to be used by God. He took a little boys lunch of a few loaves and fishes and used it to feed thousands. Surely he can take what little you feel you have to offer and make a miracle out of it. Our Father delights in those who aren't concerned about their ability but each moment give their availability. You never know how God might surprise you as He pulls back the curtains of heaven and gives you a glimpse into eternity. Yesterday, I saw Mr. Rayon showing him his neon cards with foam stickers written by a bunch of 12 and 13 year old girls, and I smiled.
Yesterday our oldest daughter, Chalese, called to tell us she had passed the PACT which is a rigorous part of the teaching credential program at SDSU. One of the requirements was to write an 80 page paper! She also shared that she had finished this semester with a 4.0! I was congratulating her on a job well done.
When I woke up this morning I was reflecting on my year and wondering what I had to show for it besides a ton of very hard work and many, many lost Saturday's. I was comparing what I have to show for my year to what Chalese has to show for hers and I began wondering what was the point of it all.
In class this morning Erica Rottenburg raised her hand and said she had a very big praise to share. About 3 weeks ago she had come up to me and asked if we could write letters to her father’s friend who 2 months ago was given 3 months to live. He is dying from cancer. At that time I was trying to finish up a unit and I didn’t feel like we could take the time to write. We had already written to 12 people this year and I was just weary from all of it. I was going to assign it as homework but something told me not to and to let the girls make the cards in class. We looked up scriptures, wrote the notes of encouragement, decorated the bright cards with cute foam stickers, prayed over them and sent them off.
Today Erica told us that Mr. Rayon read every card (all 4 Bible classes wrote to him) and that on Friday she and her father went to visit him. In the course of the evening Mr. Rayon gave his life to the Lord! I know that God orchestrated my classes to be part of this amazing event! I was able to rejoice with them and encourage them to continue developing their love relationship with God and to let Him use them in great ways. These young 13 and 14 year old girls have seen over and over again this year that God has used them to touch the lives of complete strangers!
The Lord spoke so clearly today to me that this year was about touching eternity! God has been in each and every class I have taught. He has seen the impact I have had even if I haven't. I believe when we get to heaven we will see our time here as being a part of the puzzle of someone else’s life.
No matter what you are doing today, I pray you will touch eternity. Your kindness, counsel, and words of affirmation can do miracles beyond what you can imagine. May the prayer of your heart today be, "Here I am Lord, use me!" Don't wait until you feel prepared, qualified and trained to be used by God. He took a little boys lunch of a few loaves and fishes and used it to feed thousands. Surely he can take what little you feel you have to offer and make a miracle out of it. Our Father delights in those who aren't concerned about their ability but each moment give their availability. You never know how God might surprise you as He pulls back the curtains of heaven and gives you a glimpse into eternity. Yesterday, I saw Mr. Rayon showing him his neon cards with foam stickers written by a bunch of 12 and 13 year old girls, and I smiled.
Wednesday, May 13, 2009
Amazing Love and Grace
Last week I had my usual 3 month appointment with my oncologist to examine me and look over my blood work. She said everything looked good and she commented that I was coming up on 2 years (this August) of having been diagnosed. She followed this comment with one word,"amazing"! She then asked what was new with me and I told her how I have started training to compete in Masters track and field meets. For years I have talked about throwing again but I have always been coaching so there wasn't the time. Last summer I was able to get my mom's old throwing implements. She was my first track coach! For those of you who don't know I competed in Jr. and Sr. High school, college and then after college with Athletes in Action. My mom and I competed together in 2 masters Nationals years ago. My mom did not start throwing until she was in her 50's and then she traveled the world do something she loved. She even set a world record! Mom died last April and I decided it was time to start throwing again. I wish she was alive to see it.
After a woman has had a lumpectomy and removed lymph nodes, she is not supposed to do any heavy lifting or strenuous work on whatever side the surgery was performed on. There's a risk of getting lymphedema, which can be a permanent swelling of the arm. In the beginning I was a little fearful and I babied my right side but then I just started living my normal life. I don't think I should be able to throw and lift weights, especially since I am right handed! When my doctor heard what I was doing she said, "Amazing!"
Through my cancer journey I have found that God is an amazing God and he loves to surprise us and confound the wise! I believe every Israelite that watched David sling that rock and Goliath fall, said, "Amazing".
I have been amazed at how God has walked with me every step of this journey. He knows when my faith is faltering, when my peace is fleeing and my heart is hurting. He is quick to send the "Aaron's" into my life who will hold me up so I can continue to face the giant. His timing is perfect and his ways are unexplainable. Many of you have been my Aaron's, and for that I thank you. Without you, I probably would have faltered and failed.
Looking back over the past 20 months I can only say, AMAZING! As you face your own giants, know that God delights in showing His goodness, mercy, power and love to the world THROUGH YOU! Don't wait until your giant is dead to be an amazing testimony of God's faithfulness. Choose each day to steadfastly trust God. Run to your giant, not from it. God delights in making giant slayers out of the "David's" of life. Lift up your head and watch your giant fall! AMAZING!
After a woman has had a lumpectomy and removed lymph nodes, she is not supposed to do any heavy lifting or strenuous work on whatever side the surgery was performed on. There's a risk of getting lymphedema, which can be a permanent swelling of the arm. In the beginning I was a little fearful and I babied my right side but then I just started living my normal life. I don't think I should be able to throw and lift weights, especially since I am right handed! When my doctor heard what I was doing she said, "Amazing!"
Through my cancer journey I have found that God is an amazing God and he loves to surprise us and confound the wise! I believe every Israelite that watched David sling that rock and Goliath fall, said, "Amazing".
I have been amazed at how God has walked with me every step of this journey. He knows when my faith is faltering, when my peace is fleeing and my heart is hurting. He is quick to send the "Aaron's" into my life who will hold me up so I can continue to face the giant. His timing is perfect and his ways are unexplainable. Many of you have been my Aaron's, and for that I thank you. Without you, I probably would have faltered and failed.
Looking back over the past 20 months I can only say, AMAZING! As you face your own giants, know that God delights in showing His goodness, mercy, power and love to the world THROUGH YOU! Don't wait until your giant is dead to be an amazing testimony of God's faithfulness. Choose each day to steadfastly trust God. Run to your giant, not from it. God delights in making giant slayers out of the "David's" of life. Lift up your head and watch your giant fall! AMAZING!
Thursday, April 9, 2009
Unexpected Answers
Have you ever prayed for something and expected God to answer it in a certain way and then found yourself thrown when he does something totally unexpected?
God is giving me the desires of my heart, but the answer did not come as I thought it would. In my last blog I was expressing my longing to have the time to minister to fellow cancer fighters and He answered my prayer. He took my job away! On April 1st (no kidding) my Superintendent and Principal called me in and told me I would only have a 50% contract next year! Our district is losing many students and they are having to cut the budget. I was very upset because they took my Health classes and are going to have another teacher teach them! I am the only teacher who has taught them these past 8 years so I was initially very hurt and upset. The next day I got on a plane and came to New Mexico to spend time with my father and family. I was able to share my cancer journey with my sister-in-law's father who was recently diagnosed with acute leukemia. Bill has been promised another Christmas with chemotherapy. I was able to pray with him and hopefully encourage him in his fight. I feel as if this is part of why God allowed cancer to touch my life in the first place. It is part of the good that He promises in Romans 8:28 for everyone that loves Him.
Sewell and I are facing yet another giant as we consider how we are going to manage on a 50% cut in my income. I reminded myself that I have already faced and conquered the giant that could kill me! The loss of my Health classes will be challenging but it doesn't have the power to destroy my life.
In my devotions I read this verse from Isaiah 24:15, "Glorify the Lord in the fires." It goes on to say, "We are to honor the Lord in the trial-in the very thing that afflicts us. It is precisely there, in the heat of the fire, we are to glorify Him. We do this by exercising perfect faith in His goodness and love, that has permitted this trial to come upon us. Even more, we are to believe that out of the fire will arise something more worthy of praise to Him than had we never experienced it. To go through some fires will take great faith, for little faith will fail. We must win the victory in the furnace. A person has only as much faith as he has in times of trouble. The three men who were thrown into the fiery furnace came out just as they went in -except for the ropes that had bound them. How often God removes our shackles in the furnace of affliction. This is the real triumph-triumphing over sickness in it, triumphing over death in dying, and triumphing over other adverse circumstances in them. Christ's triumph was in His humiliation. And perhaps our triumph will also be revealed through what others see as humiliation." Margaret Bottome
I encourage you to trust God in your trials. Go through them with great faith. The answers to your prayers may come in unexpected ways. Your heavenly Father will take care of every need you have. Allow Him to remove the shackles in the furnace of your affliction. Remind yourself that out of your fire will come something more worthy of praise than if you had never experienced it. Face each and every giant with a God-saturated soul! He is in the giant slaying business!
God is giving me the desires of my heart, but the answer did not come as I thought it would. In my last blog I was expressing my longing to have the time to minister to fellow cancer fighters and He answered my prayer. He took my job away! On April 1st (no kidding) my Superintendent and Principal called me in and told me I would only have a 50% contract next year! Our district is losing many students and they are having to cut the budget. I was very upset because they took my Health classes and are going to have another teacher teach them! I am the only teacher who has taught them these past 8 years so I was initially very hurt and upset. The next day I got on a plane and came to New Mexico to spend time with my father and family. I was able to share my cancer journey with my sister-in-law's father who was recently diagnosed with acute leukemia. Bill has been promised another Christmas with chemotherapy. I was able to pray with him and hopefully encourage him in his fight. I feel as if this is part of why God allowed cancer to touch my life in the first place. It is part of the good that He promises in Romans 8:28 for everyone that loves Him.
Sewell and I are facing yet another giant as we consider how we are going to manage on a 50% cut in my income. I reminded myself that I have already faced and conquered the giant that could kill me! The loss of my Health classes will be challenging but it doesn't have the power to destroy my life.
In my devotions I read this verse from Isaiah 24:15, "Glorify the Lord in the fires." It goes on to say, "We are to honor the Lord in the trial-in the very thing that afflicts us. It is precisely there, in the heat of the fire, we are to glorify Him. We do this by exercising perfect faith in His goodness and love, that has permitted this trial to come upon us. Even more, we are to believe that out of the fire will arise something more worthy of praise to Him than had we never experienced it. To go through some fires will take great faith, for little faith will fail. We must win the victory in the furnace. A person has only as much faith as he has in times of trouble. The three men who were thrown into the fiery furnace came out just as they went in -except for the ropes that had bound them. How often God removes our shackles in the furnace of affliction. This is the real triumph-triumphing over sickness in it, triumphing over death in dying, and triumphing over other adverse circumstances in them. Christ's triumph was in His humiliation. And perhaps our triumph will also be revealed through what others see as humiliation." Margaret Bottome
I encourage you to trust God in your trials. Go through them with great faith. The answers to your prayers may come in unexpected ways. Your heavenly Father will take care of every need you have. Allow Him to remove the shackles in the furnace of your affliction. Remind yourself that out of your fire will come something more worthy of praise than if you had never experienced it. Face each and every giant with a God-saturated soul! He is in the giant slaying business!
Tuesday, March 31, 2009
Comfort in Suffering
Cancer is a devastating disease that is raging across America. Now that I have been through cancer, it is difficult to watch the destruction this disease is leaving on the health and emotions of people I know. Before I had cancer I always felt sad when I heard someone was diagnosed with this disease. Now I feel almost sick to my stomach. I know somewhat of the emotional journey they will go through but little of the medical one. I want to help and yet feel so constrained by time.
II Corinthians 1:1-4 says, "Praise be to the God and Father of our Lord Jesus Christ, the Father of compassion and the God of all comfort, who comforts us in all our troubles, so that we can comfort those in any trouble with the comfort we ourselves have received from God. For just as the sufferings of Christ flow over into our lives, so also through Christ our comfort overflows."
During my cancer journey, God poured comfort each and every day into my heart. Now that I am healed, I have such a strong desire to pour that comfort out on others. The busyness of teaching keeps me from having the time I need to make the calls, write the notes of encouragement, help with nutrition, and pray for those who are suffering. I do as much as I can but I want to do so much more. I wonder if Jesus ever felt this way when he saw the needs pressing in around him? There was just never enough of Him to go around. How did he reconcile this in his heart? This is something I will have to discover.
I often think how wonderful it would be not to wake up every day and have to rush out the door to teach. Most afternoons are spent grading papers and preparing for the rest of the week. The energy expenditure is amazing as I deal with 140 different personalities each and every day. Teachers pour out from the time they start their day until the minute it ends. It is a tiring profession! I am trying to figure out how to do my job well without jeopardizing my own health! I know stress plays a huge role in the health of my immune system.
Many, many times this year I have wanted to be ministering to people with cancer or speaking to women's groups instead of teaching. Both of these are my other passions. Until that day comes, I will continue to teach my students how to love other people in their hour of suffering. We will continue to reach out to those we know who need our prayers and comfort. Every day when I enter my classroom and see our beautiful prayer wall, I will remind myself that this job is more than teaching, it is training the next generation how to be burden bearers.
Please pray God will give me the time and energy to help those He brings across my path. I desperately want to get a web site up and running which will contain all the information I have learned about fighting cancer with a lifestyle change, including nutrition. It's just a matter of time.
These are the people I'm trying to help and encourage if you have some time to pray for them. The majority of them are facing cancer:
Norm, Bill, Beth, Cathleen, Terri, Brittany (a 13 year old student of mine with a tumor on her skull), Donna and Rhonda.
I would love to sit and chat some more but I must get dressed and get to school. Thank you for listening to me pour out my heart. Have a wonderful day being loved by the KING!
P.S. Happy Birthday Joni! I love you my dear sweet friend. Thank you for being a part of my life these past 20+ years. You have always been a pillar of strength in my life. I miss you at Christian High!
II Corinthians 1:1-4 says, "Praise be to the God and Father of our Lord Jesus Christ, the Father of compassion and the God of all comfort, who comforts us in all our troubles, so that we can comfort those in any trouble with the comfort we ourselves have received from God. For just as the sufferings of Christ flow over into our lives, so also through Christ our comfort overflows."
During my cancer journey, God poured comfort each and every day into my heart. Now that I am healed, I have such a strong desire to pour that comfort out on others. The busyness of teaching keeps me from having the time I need to make the calls, write the notes of encouragement, help with nutrition, and pray for those who are suffering. I do as much as I can but I want to do so much more. I wonder if Jesus ever felt this way when he saw the needs pressing in around him? There was just never enough of Him to go around. How did he reconcile this in his heart? This is something I will have to discover.
I often think how wonderful it would be not to wake up every day and have to rush out the door to teach. Most afternoons are spent grading papers and preparing for the rest of the week. The energy expenditure is amazing as I deal with 140 different personalities each and every day. Teachers pour out from the time they start their day until the minute it ends. It is a tiring profession! I am trying to figure out how to do my job well without jeopardizing my own health! I know stress plays a huge role in the health of my immune system.
Many, many times this year I have wanted to be ministering to people with cancer or speaking to women's groups instead of teaching. Both of these are my other passions. Until that day comes, I will continue to teach my students how to love other people in their hour of suffering. We will continue to reach out to those we know who need our prayers and comfort. Every day when I enter my classroom and see our beautiful prayer wall, I will remind myself that this job is more than teaching, it is training the next generation how to be burden bearers.
Please pray God will give me the time and energy to help those He brings across my path. I desperately want to get a web site up and running which will contain all the information I have learned about fighting cancer with a lifestyle change, including nutrition. It's just a matter of time.
These are the people I'm trying to help and encourage if you have some time to pray for them. The majority of them are facing cancer:
Norm, Bill, Beth, Cathleen, Terri, Brittany (a 13 year old student of mine with a tumor on her skull), Donna and Rhonda.
I would love to sit and chat some more but I must get dressed and get to school. Thank you for listening to me pour out my heart. Have a wonderful day being loved by the KING!
P.S. Happy Birthday Joni! I love you my dear sweet friend. Thank you for being a part of my life these past 20+ years. You have always been a pillar of strength in my life. I miss you at Christian High!
Saturday, March 14, 2009
Perspective
This morning in my devotions I was reading David Jeremiah's book A Bend in the Road. He used this quote from Alan Redpath," As I lift up my eyes to Him, and accept it as coming from the throne of God for some great purpose of blessing for my own heart, no sorrow will ever disturb me, no trial will ever disarm me, no circumstance will ever cause me to fret, for I shall rest in the joy of what my Lord is."
Notice he did not say he would rest in the joy of what the Lord does, but in what He is. The Lord is the very essence of love. What He is and what He does is LOVE. If we take this perspective on everything that happens to us, it will change how we respond to the hard trials in life. Dr. Jeremiah says, "How will you choose to deal with your personal crisis-as an emergency or an opportunity? A stumbling block or a steppingstone? The moment you and I can begin to see things through the heavenly lens, the picture becomes more bearable-and we find new strength."
God is not taken by surprise, He is not alarmed by anything happening in your life and He is not panicking. Your past, present and future are before Him and in his grip all at once.
The greatest challenge we have is to leave our earthly perspective behind and embrace a heavenly one. If we can do this, our sorrow will ease, our pain will subside, and our hope will be renewed. Sit quietly with Him and ask for his peace and perspective to flood your thinking. He is painting the mosaic of your life one stroke at a time. Trust that you are a masterpiece in the making. The pain of trials is just one more color He's adding. They are as necessary as the joys He splashes across the canvas of your life. Each day, ask God to give you His perspective in pain. Don't ask to be taken from His easel before the painting of your life is completed.
"But as for me, I will always have hope;
I will praise you more and more.
My mouth will tell of Your righteousness,
of your salvation all day long,
though I know not its measure.
I will come and proclaim your mighty acts, O Sovereign Lord;
I will proclaim your righteousness, yours alone."
Psalm 71:14-16
Notice he did not say he would rest in the joy of what the Lord does, but in what He is. The Lord is the very essence of love. What He is and what He does is LOVE. If we take this perspective on everything that happens to us, it will change how we respond to the hard trials in life. Dr. Jeremiah says, "How will you choose to deal with your personal crisis-as an emergency or an opportunity? A stumbling block or a steppingstone? The moment you and I can begin to see things through the heavenly lens, the picture becomes more bearable-and we find new strength."
God is not taken by surprise, He is not alarmed by anything happening in your life and He is not panicking. Your past, present and future are before Him and in his grip all at once.
The greatest challenge we have is to leave our earthly perspective behind and embrace a heavenly one. If we can do this, our sorrow will ease, our pain will subside, and our hope will be renewed. Sit quietly with Him and ask for his peace and perspective to flood your thinking. He is painting the mosaic of your life one stroke at a time. Trust that you are a masterpiece in the making. The pain of trials is just one more color He's adding. They are as necessary as the joys He splashes across the canvas of your life. Each day, ask God to give you His perspective in pain. Don't ask to be taken from His easel before the painting of your life is completed.
"But as for me, I will always have hope;
I will praise you more and more.
My mouth will tell of Your righteousness,
of your salvation all day long,
though I know not its measure.
I will come and proclaim your mighty acts, O Sovereign Lord;
I will proclaim your righteousness, yours alone."
Psalm 71:14-16
Wednesday, February 4, 2009
Turn Of Events
I Kings 12 is an interesting chapter of the Bible. Rehoboam has gone to Shechem so the Israelites can make him King. The people asked him to lighten the harsh load Rehoboams father had put on them when he was king. He consulted the elders and they said he should lighten their load, but after consulting his friends he decided to make it even worse for the people. In verse 15 it says, "So the king did not listen to the people, for this turn of events was from the Lord..." Continue the story and you will see in verse 24 the Lord says, "this is my doing".
I wonder how many of us are experiencing "a turn of events" in our lives right now? Maybe you've lost a home or a job, been diagnosed with an illness, faced strained relationships with loved ones or had something unexpected happen in your life that has taken a toll on your emotions. You may find yourself facing a mountain you do not have the strength to climb. Depression and despair may have rolled in like a fog settling heavily over your heart and mind.
What if it is all His doing, not ours? What if it isn't about the economy, or choices we've made or things we have or have not done? What if God only allows things into our lives that will mold us and shape us more into the image of His son? What if everything you are experiencing is not your doing, but His doing? Often we believe that God's hand is upon us only when our bank accounts are fat, our tummies are full, the birds are singing outside our window and everything is coming up roses! When you look at men and women of the Bible it appears the majority of them experienced God in a greater way when they were being schooled in rooms of pain and suffering. Paul and Job were the first to come to my mind.
Whatever is going on in your life, realize that God has allowed it. Your turn of events is not an accident. The economy does not control your finances, God does. He will use the economy to do His will in your life because you are His child. Wait and watch to see what God is going to do as He allows you to experience His love through your struggles. He knows what He is doing. He always has a purpose and a reason for everything. Trust Him even if you don't understand Him!
I don't think there was one day that I did not cry when I was in the thick of battling cancer. My healing came with great anguish. It was the most difficult and darkest times of my life and yet the sweetest, as I humbly knelt before God every day and put my life into His hands. There was nothing else I could do. I had no power to heal cancer, only God did. You may have no power to change your circumstances, but God does. Embrace your situation with an attitude of thanksgiving and expectation. Give God permission to make a testimony out of you! He will give you the strength to climb any mountain He's placed in front of you. Take it one step at a time. Don't give up or throw in the towel when it gets difficult. Hold His hand and let Him lead you to the top. When you get there, you will see how small and insignificant the obstacles were compared to the view you now have. Sit down, catch your breath and enjoy the scenery!
I wonder how many of us are experiencing "a turn of events" in our lives right now? Maybe you've lost a home or a job, been diagnosed with an illness, faced strained relationships with loved ones or had something unexpected happen in your life that has taken a toll on your emotions. You may find yourself facing a mountain you do not have the strength to climb. Depression and despair may have rolled in like a fog settling heavily over your heart and mind.
What if it is all His doing, not ours? What if it isn't about the economy, or choices we've made or things we have or have not done? What if God only allows things into our lives that will mold us and shape us more into the image of His son? What if everything you are experiencing is not your doing, but His doing? Often we believe that God's hand is upon us only when our bank accounts are fat, our tummies are full, the birds are singing outside our window and everything is coming up roses! When you look at men and women of the Bible it appears the majority of them experienced God in a greater way when they were being schooled in rooms of pain and suffering. Paul and Job were the first to come to my mind.
Whatever is going on in your life, realize that God has allowed it. Your turn of events is not an accident. The economy does not control your finances, God does. He will use the economy to do His will in your life because you are His child. Wait and watch to see what God is going to do as He allows you to experience His love through your struggles. He knows what He is doing. He always has a purpose and a reason for everything. Trust Him even if you don't understand Him!
I don't think there was one day that I did not cry when I was in the thick of battling cancer. My healing came with great anguish. It was the most difficult and darkest times of my life and yet the sweetest, as I humbly knelt before God every day and put my life into His hands. There was nothing else I could do. I had no power to heal cancer, only God did. You may have no power to change your circumstances, but God does. Embrace your situation with an attitude of thanksgiving and expectation. Give God permission to make a testimony out of you! He will give you the strength to climb any mountain He's placed in front of you. Take it one step at a time. Don't give up or throw in the towel when it gets difficult. Hold His hand and let Him lead you to the top. When you get there, you will see how small and insignificant the obstacles were compared to the view you now have. Sit down, catch your breath and enjoy the scenery!
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