Walking in the midst of trouble

It has been a long emotional week. Too many late nights (which means anything past 8:30 p.m ) and too many early mornings. Unexpected emotional waves would wash over me pounding at my heart. The weight of so much loss this year sat wearily on my mind. Sewell and I were both looking forward to an evening home with the girls which we have not had in awhile. Suki was excited to see us put on our walking shoes and call her to come. We were walking out in the open trails behind our neighborhood when all of a sudden off to our left I see this dog tearing out of his yard towards us. My heart raced and I began screaming since I recognized this as the same pit bull that had mauled Suki when I walked down our street last year. It had been a terrifying experience and I had barely got her away alive. In an instant this dog attacked Suki. Without thinking we rushed to our aid. We knew we couldn't leave her there to be brutally killed by this dog. Sewell and I both began screaming at the dog. Sewell rushed to get between Suki, myself and the dog. The dog bit his elbow and pulled him to the ground. Sewell was fighting with all his strength to free himself. We have read stories of pit bulls that have mauled and killed people and we knew his life could be at stake. The dog bit his ankle and Sewell kicked his way free and got to his feet. This all happened in just seconds. Meanwhile I am crying and screaming and trying to help my husband and Suki. All of a sudden Sewell is yelling at the dog, "In the name of Jesus, get out of here." He repeated it several times. There was a pause in the viciousness of the attack and I was able to grab Suki and pull her away. Sewell told me to take her and get to safety. The owner came running from his yard to get his dog. The dog continued to be aggressive even after his owner called him but he didn't bite Sewell again.
Shaken and crying, I headed to the safety of our home with Suki. Miraculously she only had a small cut on her ear but Sewell was a different story. When we got the bleeding stopped and washed his elbow and ankle we knew he would need stitches. After making a call to Animal control to report the attack we headed to the hospital.
We arrived at 8:00 p.m and left at 12:15 with a tetanus shot, stitches in his ankle and antibiotics. As we sat in the waiting room and replayed the events of the night Sewell told me he had looked for a large rock to hit the dog with but all he could find was a small stone. My mind flashed to David and Goliath and the bracelets he and I wear that say, "Facing Your Giant." We both knew that once again we had faced a giant of fear that had come into our lives. One more time we called out to God for His help and he arrived to rescue us. Psalm 138:7 says, "Though I walk in the midst of trouble, you preserve my life." We know the weapons we have to fight our battles are small and insignificant but we know the battle is His, not ours. He has at His disposal everything that is needed to defeat any enemy that comes to harm us.
I am grateful for a husband who instinctively calls on the name of Jesus to come to our aid and rescue in the time of trouble. I know Suki is too!
I have no idea what God is doing in our lives but we will continue to face each day with our hope and trust in Him. If he allows a giant to come into our land we will face it with a God saturated soul, knowing He is the one who preserves our life.

Trusting and Clinging

My mother's service was a beautiful tribute by those who loved her. She was an amazingly talented woman who could do anything she set her mind to. The impact she had on people's lives was lasting. It was wonderful seeing all my brother's and sister's and getting to spend time with extended family. As you can imagine it was an emotionally exhausting time. Sewell, Ashley and I arrived home Sunday evening and Monday I had an appointment with my oncologist. She said my CBC panel looks good, my lipid panel looks good and my tumor markers are negative! YEAH! She has ordered a sonogram to look closely at the internal damage that still remains from the surgery just to make sure nothing is there. It is scheduled for Friday. I will also see my nutritionist that day so he can look at my latest blood work. I am very excited to continue walking this path God has put me on. Thank you for all your prayers and support.
If you had told me this last summer that I would be diagnosed with cancer, lose 2 parents and a coaching job that I love, I don't think I would have believed I would have the strength to go through it all. And yet here I am still trusting and clinging to God. Yes, I have cried more this year probably than any previous year in my life, but God has always been there to comfort and encourage me. Today in my devotions this is what I read:
"In no way is it enough to set out cheerfully with God on any venture of faith. You must also be willing to take your ideas of what the journey will be like and tear them into tiny pieces, for nothing on the itinerary will happen as you expect. Your Guide will not keep to any beaten path. He will lead you through ways you would never have dreamed your eyes would see. He knows no fear, and He expects you to fear nothing while He is with you." L.B. Cowman

Face each day with faith, not fear. George Meuller says "Trials are the food of faith." Fearful things may come into your life but place your hand in the hand of One who knows no fear. Mustard seed faith is all you need. Darkness will lose its strength as you remind yourself that in Him there is no darkness at all.

Nothing

My dear friend Jackie gave this to me shortly after I had been diagnosed with cancer. I read these words over and over to remind myself of God's love for me. I hope they will remind you of the great love He has for you.

Nothing...

Reasons to be thankful

Nothing will every happen to you that God does not already know about.

Psalm 139: 1-4

Nothing will ever happen to you that is a mistake.

Psalm 139:4, 16

Nothing will ever happen to you that you cannot handle by God's power and grace.

2 Corinthians 12:9-10

Nothing will ever happen to you that will not eventually be used by God for some good purposes in your life.

Romans 8:28

Nothing will every happen to you without God's presence.

Matthew 28:20

Nothing will ever separate you from God's love.

Romans 8: 38-39

I appreciate your prayers for me and my family as we prepare to travel to New Mexico for my mom's services which will be held Saturday. Pray that there will be unity in our family. Today I am going to get some more blood tests for my doctor to look at. I will be meeting with my oncologist next week to go over my blood results. These will be the first results she has gone over with me since I was diagnosed with cancer. I am interested to see what she thinks. I need God to prepare my heart because I think she will still want me to do chemo and take Tamoxifen, neither of which I plan to do. I want to be able to speak boldly to her about my confidence in what God has called me to do. Doctor's can be very intimidating. I am still juicing and drinking all my carrot/green juice and taking all my supplements. I'm walking almost every day but would love for this nagging injury in my foot to heal (I got it back in August) so I can do more aerobic workouts. I'm trying to get to bed at 8:30 each night so I can get enough sleep. The biggest thing I am dealing with right now is stress. Please pray it will not affect me physically so my body can focus its energy on becoming healthy.

No matter what you are facing today, always remember "He will cover you with his feathers, and under his wings you will find refuge."

Psalm 91:4

I Will Not Doubt

I will not doubt, thou all my ships at sea
Come drifting home with broken masts and sails;
I will believe the Hand that never fails,
From seeming evil works to good for me.
And though I weep because those sails are tattered,
Still will I cry, while my best hopes lie shattered:
"I trust in Thee."

I will not doubt, though all my prayers return
Unanswered from the still, white realm above;
I will believe it is an all-wise love
That has refused these things for which I yearn;
And though at times I cannot keep from grieving,
Yet the pure passion of my fixed believing
Undimmed will burn.

I will not doubt, though sorrows fall like rain,
And troubles swarm like bees about a hive.
I will believe the heights for which I strive
Are only reached by anguish and pain;
And though I groan and writhe beneath my crosses,
Yet will I will see through my severest losses
The greater gain.

I will not doubt. Well anchored is this faith,
Like some staunch ship, my soul braves every gale;
So strong its courage that it will not fail
To face the might unknown sea of death.
Oh, may I cry, though body leaves the spirit,
"I do not doubt," so listening worlds may hear it,
With my last breath.

Yesterday my mom drew her last breath on earth. It was very unexpected in spite of the struggles she had with her health these past few years. None of us knows when our time on this earth will end. When I draw my last breath what do I want to characterize my life? What do you want to characterize your life?

This poem sums up what I feel. I want to be known as a woman who never doubted God's love for me. I want my faith to be so well anchored that no storm can destroy me. I want to face every storm with courage, knowing God is in the midst of it. He has the power to still the storms of my life if He chooses to. But if He doesn't I will not doubt His love for me. And when I do draw my last breath I want the listening worlds to know of my faith and trust in Him.

Lord, open our eyes

There is a great story found in 2 Kings chapter 6. It is the story of Elisha the prophet and his servant. Elisha was warning the king of Israel that the king of Aram was going to attack. When the king of Aram heard about this he sent horses, chariots and a strong army to surround the city where Elisha was. When Elisha's servant got up the next morning and saw the huge army he was afraid. Elisha said, "Those who are with us are more than those who are with them." Then in verse 17 Elisha prayed, "O Lord, open his eyes so he may see." God opened the servant's eyes and he was able to see the hills full of horses and chariots of fire all around Elisha.

Hannah Whitehall Smith has this to say this about the passage: "This is the prayer we need to pray for ourselves and one another: "Lord, open our eyes so we may see." We are surrounded just as the prophet Elisha was, by God's "horses and chariots of fire", waiting to transport us to places of glorious victory. Once our eyes are opened by God, we will see all the events of our lives, whether great or small, joyful or sad, as a "chariot" for our souls. Everything that comes to us becomes a chariot the moment we treat it as such. On the other hand, even the smallest trial may become an object crushing everything in its path into misery and despair if we allow it. The difference then becomes a choice we make. It all depends not on the events themselves but on how we view them. If we simply lie down, allowing them to roll over and crush us, they become an uncontrollable car of destruction. Yet if we climb into them, as riding in a car of victory, they become the chariots of God to triumphantly take us onward and upward."

I had an emotionally crushing event happen to me this week that I am still trying to process. I have cried and cried and then cried out to God for comfort. I have felt all the emotions including anger, hurt, bitterness, and intense pain. I have felt as if my spirit was literally being crushed. I have been on my knees asking God to help me to respond in a Christ like manner. Have you ever experienced anything like that? Has there been a time in your life when something unjust happened to you? Has there been a time when you felt crushed in your spirit?

This passage of scripture is helping me to make the right choice. I can either let this become an "uncontrollable car of destruction" or I can climb into it and ride it as a chariot of God to take me onward and upward. It is a hard choice that my flesh fights. I know what God is requiring of me but sometimes it seems as if His path is too difficult even though it's right. Being stretched and challenged is painful, but necessary. So once again as I have every day these past 7 months, I fall on my knees before God and say, "Not my will, but Thy will be done. Help me to trust you. Take all my pain and replace it with your hope and peace. Use this for your glory." My prayer for all of us is that God will open our eyes so that we, like Elisha's servant, can see the horses and chariots of fire that God is surrounding us with waiting to transport us to places of glorious victory. I think I will step in and take a ride. Do you want to come?

When does the pain become a friend?

Phillips, Craig and Dean sing this song off their album "Where Strength Begins". It is the cry of my heart at this time. I want to feel his arms around me in the middle of this raging storm so I can see the blessing in the thorn. I hope this ministers to you somehow!


Blessing in the Storm

I read about a man of God
Who glorified in his weakness
And I wish that I could be
More like him and less like me
Am I to blame for what I’m not
Or is pain the way God teaches me to grow
I need to know

When does the thorn become a blessing?
When does the pain become a friend?
When does the weakness make me stronger?
When does my faith make me whole again?
I want to feel His arms around me
In the middle of my raging storm
So that I can see the blessing in the thorn

I’ve heard it said the strength of Christ
Is perfect in my weakness
And the more that I go through
The more I prove the promise true
His love will go to any length
And reaches even now to where I am
But tell me once again

When does the thorn become a blessing?
When does the pain become a friend?
When does the weakness make me stronger?
When does my faith make me whole again?
I want to feel His arms around me
In the middle of my raging storm
So that I can see the blessing in the thorn

Lord, I have to ask You
On the cross You suffered through
Was there a time You ever doubted
What you already knew?