New Years Resolution

There are only a few days left of 2008. These past 16 months have been ones of death, sorrow and grieving for our family. It began with Bud (my father-in-law) being admitted to the hospital shortly before I was diagnosed with breast cancer. He suffered immensely and then died on November 7th, 2007. As you know I was diagnosed with breast cancer and given a death sentence by a doctor if I chose to refuse chemo and radiation. I am sure my oncologist is baffled as to why I am still alive and in remission since I fought cancer with my faith and a healthy lifestyle change. In April my mother died after a heroic and long fought battle with infections resulting from abdominal surgery. That same month our beloved dog Sukie was attacked by a pit bull. Sewell and I tried to save her from being killed and Sewell was severely bitten on his arm and leg, requiring stitches. The wounds became infected and took 3 months to heal. I also lost a coaching job that I dearly loved and Cori did not finish her senior year throwing for our track team. This fall Sewell was transferred to a new school and I was moved to primarily being a Junior High teacher in order to teach 4 classes of girls 7th and 8th grade Bible, which were new subjects for me. At the same time 2 of my best friends and supporters through my cancer battle left our school. I am still grieving. The year ended with yet another death as I had to have our 14 year old cat put to sleep. Needless to say, we have kept the Kleenex company in business this year.
When I look back I know this has been the hardest time of our lives and yet it has been the one where we have grown the most. We have had to cling to God each and every moment for His guidance, strength and wisdom. I did not possess the human strength to walk through cancer. God had to give it to me as I sat in silence before Him each morning and as I clung to the promises in his word.
When our children were little I used to sing a song to them when I rocked them to sleep at night. One of the stanzas said, "Lord, I am willing, do what you must do, to make me like you Lord, make me like you." In my own life I have been made most like Christ when I have gone through tremendous suffering. Suffering has a way of stripping away the non-essentials of life. As I look forward to 2009 I would like it to be one without so much pain and yet my goal is to submit to God's will. Ravi Zacharias writes about submitting to God's will in his book The Grand Weaver. He says, "So where does it begin? With self-crucifixion. In effect, we go to our own funeral and bury the self-will so that God's will can reign supremely in our hearts. Our will has no power to do God's will until it first dies to its own desires and the Holy Spirit brings a fresh power within us."
My goal for 2009 is death of my will so Christ can live abundantly in and through me. This is the only type of death that we can rejoice about. Galatians 2:20 says, "I have been crucified with Christ and I no longer live, but Christ lives in me. The life I live in the body, I live by faith in the Son of God, who loved me and gave himself for me." Paul suffered immensely. The daily "crucifixions" he endured enabled Christ to powerfully live in him.
I hope your New Years Resolutions go deeper than losing weight or changing some bad habits. I pray they will be about dying to self and living to Christ. My hope is that you will embrace God's will for your life no matter how hard and painful it might be. It is only when all of your self has died can all of Him live in and through you to touch the world around you. God is not ultimately concerned about your happiness but your holiness. May this be a year of complete and total surrender to the work and will of God in your life.