Perseverance

Today is a bittersweet mother's day. It is my first without my mom. I know Sewell and I have more of those in front of us with his father dying this year too. Like endless days this year it is one more where I cling to Him for comfort to walk through it. It's impossible to know how much pain you can withstand until it comes into your life. I am sure many of you reading this have faced your own intense pain in various forms. Some of you have probably experienced greater loss than I have. We have all had to persevere and keep moving forward.

A student of mine wrote these words on his final Health paper about what he had learned in class; "I want to thank you for all you've shown me and some areas in life that I should work on. One thing that I was amazed at was your perseverance. You kept on going even though you could have taken the rest of the year off due to cancer, taken more time off from the deaths in your family, taken more time off from the attacks on your husband, you could have been home for the rest of the year and yet you still came. I don't know how you keep it up. As a teacher and as a person you've been an example of how to keep going even when the odds were against you."

James 1:2 came to my mind. It says, "Consider it pure joy, my brothers, whenever you face trials of many kinds, because you know that the testing of your faith develops perseverance. Perseverance must finish its work so that you may be mature and complete, not lacking anything." I certainly have faced trials of many kinds this year. I know my faith is being tested and I am trying to develop perseverance through it all. The end result is that perseverance is what makes me mature and complete. The trials are just the means God uses.

You never know who is watching your life as you walk through your trials. One thing I have learned this year is that my trials are not just to develop character traits in my own life but in the lives of those who are around me. I thank God that one of my students noticed my perseverance and in turn is encouraged to persevere through his own trials.

People say I have been strong through all of this but they do not know how weak I really have been. I feel I have cried through most of the year or have been on the verge of tears most days. My strength has come as I have faced God before facing my day. As I wait before Him I know He is giving me the will and the strength to walk through the day. I know the giant of despair and depression are no match for me.

So today I am thankful He will help me persevere through another tough day. My tears don't bother Him and neither does my weakness. I am trying to work on the "consider it all joy" part of James. It's a tough one. Jesus knew all these painful days would be here before I did. He knew how I would respond. I pray I have not disappointed Him.